


Waste it on me: Jeon Jungkook x Reader

by orphan_account



Category: BLACKPINK (Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, College, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Gen, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-07
Updated: 2019-11-07
Packaged: 2020-11-26 17:21:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 39,642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20933897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: On one drunken night, you find yourself almost sleeping with your best friend… the same best friend that used to date your other friend and is the crush of a third friend. Trying to forget about the incident proves more difficult than intended. Can you do (no pun intended) what you love while keeping all your friendships from breaking apart?





	1. Heart to heart

You breath in the winter night blinking at the lack of clouds in the black sky. A small smile creeps on your lips as the night you’ve been waiting for this past month has finally come. It was a formal for your best friend’s fraternity and all your other friends were invited. This was your last chance to go wild before next week’s finals. 

The time flashes in front of you as you lift your phone: 7pm, just enough time to get ready. Just as your about to put your phone away, an abrupt ring startles you.

“Hello?” 

“Hey! I’m going over your place now, I’m bringing Yoongi!” Before you can answer, there are quick giggles, a few grumbles, and the line is dead. You recognize the giggles right away as one of your best friends, Jimin and the grumbles as his roommate Yoongi. 

As you approach your apartment, you hear the loud bass of your favorite music and smell a strong skunk smell.

“I’m making mixed drinks!” Jimin hollers when you walk in.

“Yah, didn’t I tell you not to smoke in my apartment!” you scold Yoongi who’s already lighting up a joint. He chuckles and points the joint towards you as if to offer. You refuse Yoongi but accept Jimin’s red cup filled with who knows what. “How much alcohol did you put in this? I can’t taste any cranberry juice.” You pout while plopping yourself on the couch next to Yoongi. 

Jimin giggles and hugs you quickly before sitting on an armchair with his feet up on your coffee table. “Tonight’s going to be the night” he says in a sing-songy voice “I’m going to make Jungkookie notice me”

Yoongi rolls his eyes “Not this again.”

Jimin’s had a crush on Jungkook for all the years you’ve all been in college together. Even when Jungkook dated Taehyung, he still waited patiently for Jungkook to reciprocate his feelings.  
“Jimin don’t you think its time that you gave up on him? I don’t want to be harsh, but he’s already rejected you…” you say the last part quietly. Jimin was sensitive, but it hurt you to see him unhealthily going after Jungkook. “Plus, I don’t think Tae would be very happy knowing that you’re going after his ex.”  
Jimin rolls his eyes and takes another large sip from his cup “He’ll come around once he realizes he has feelings for me.”  
“Nevermind about Kook, this night is about us finally letting loose and having fun.” Yoongi says blowing smoke in Jimin’s face.

You and Jimin’s eyes widen in shock at the words that just left Yoongi’s mouth. The same man who would rather lie down and sleep that step outside was now the one who wanted to go out the most. 

“I’m with Yoongi!” You pipe before Jimin can make fun of him “Let me get changed quick then we can head over!” You stand up a bit too quickly and feel yourself wobble and the lightheadedness kick in. “I’m not drunk!” you say quickly before Jimin and Yoongi can make fun of you.

You dress in your best black attire and quickly do your hair to your liking. Damn I look cute. you comment in the mirror before blowing yourself a kiss and leaving to join Yoongi and Jimin. _Am I that tipsy already?_

……………

A 10 minute walk away, Yoongi, Jimin, and you are outside the a slightly sticky college bar.

“It’s in the basement of a bar…classy…” Yoongi mumbles.

You roll your eyes and grab onto Yoongi and Jimin “Come on let’s just go in.”

As you make the steps down to the basement, you’re immediately greeted by Namjoon and Jin who embrace all of you. Yeah, they’re drunk. You think as Namjoon’s already singing horribly to the loud music and Jin’s laugh is so high pitched it sounds like a windshield wiper. 

“I missed you all” Namjoon sings over the music. You’re met by more of your friends as Taehyung, Hoseok, Lisa, Jisoo, and Jennie take turns hugging you. 

“Where’s Kook?” you shout into Lisa’s hear so she can hear you over the music. She shrugs and you quickly squirm your way through a crowd of frat boys to find him. 

The atmosphere around you becomes very visible as you feel more and more suffocated. There are people everywhere, more than you expected. The floor is already sticky from the spilling of drinks and you can smell the sweat from the dance floor. It’s suffocated. The more you look around, the more your world feels blurry. This isn’t the alcohol. You think of the one drink you had to pre-game. You were never a fan of crowds, your friends made you feel better and you’re starting to regret leaving them so quickly.

A strong hand on your shoulder starts you and gently turns you around. Your eyes are met with bright doe eyes and a bunny smile. 

“Hey! I was looking for you, are you okay? You look a bit shaken, here, I got you drink.” His voice immediately calms you down as he hands you a pink drink. 

“Kookie!” You jump into his arms which takes effort because of how much taller than you he is. Besides Jimin, you were closest with Jungkook out of all your friends, enough to even call him your best friend.

“Careful there, you’re going to spill your drink.” He giggles.

“Sorry…” you give him an apologetic smile and only just notice the way he looks, which is…good…too good. His long soft hair is perfectly ruffled, he’s in a black suit jacket that is a bit too fitted around his muscles, and his ears are dressed in black studs. When you look up to his face you can swear you see him blush.

“Y-you look good” He says shyly averting your eye contact “I like you in black.”  
You’re used to his playful compliments and joking but something seems different about this. His fingers are twitching, and you swear you see some sweat off his forehead. Is he nervous? 

“Hey Kook, what’s wrong?” you ask casually placing your hand soothingly along his arm.

“N-nothing, I need to go find Jimin-hyung.” He mumbles and disappears in the crowd.

That was weird. Maybe Jimin does have a chance. You shrug, chug the rest of your drink, and make your way to the dance floor where Lisa is already showing off her best moves.

“I bought you a drink as a thanks for helping me with that coding project.” He hands you a light blue drink and you lean your head on his shoulder, already feeling the affects of Jungkook’s pink drink. Yes, you were smart. Smart enough where even Namjoon was asking you for math and physics help. But tonight, you wanted to feel stupid and reckless, so you chugged your blue drink before dragging Namjoon to the dance floor with you. Maybe if you danced next to Namjoon you would feel like a good dancer.  
……..  
2 hours later  
………  
“This is the best night ever!” You shout with a drink in your hand and your hand in the air. People around you holler as you chug another drink and drop it down on the dance floor. The world was blurry around you and you barely notice when someone pulls you off your now favorite dance floor. You look around cutely trying to find the culprit and your eyes lock with the fluffy black hair of Jeon Jungkook.

“I’m taking them home, it’s on my way” He says to a curious Jin who’s asking where you two are going.

“Alright kid, be safe, you’re not in the best shape either.” Jin pats Jungkook’s shoulder and winks over at you before leaving to find Yoongi.  
“Kookie where are we going.” You link your arms with his and follow him up the stairs.  
“We’re going home, you have to work tomorrow, and I don’t want you to regret tonight.”  
The rest of the walk is silent as you slowly feel yourself feeling less drunk. The air is cool on your bare arms and you refuse Jungkook’s jacket because you like the way the goose bumps feel against your skin.  
Time flies and you’re already at the steps of your apartment and Jungkook is turning around to continue his walk home.  
Before you know it, you’ve taken a slight grip of his sleeve to grab his attention. He turns around and looks at you and it feels like your world slowed down just to see him for just a moment longer. That might just be the alcohol. You giggle to yourself in your brain.  
“Don’t go home yet” you find yourself saying giving him a flirty smile “Stay with me, let’s have a heart to heart.”


	2. We're going to regret this aren't we?

“Heart to heart?” He slurs questioningly and cocks his head cutely.

“I just want to talk to you more, we’ve both been studying so much that we barely talk anymore!” You whine and pull on his hand inside the apartment. 

You rub at your eyes and plop yourself on the couch. “Sit” you command patting the couch with a sloppy smile. 

Jungkook immediately complies looking at you with wide doe eyes. “What did you want to talk about?”

You lean your head down on his shoulder and close your eyes. Even with your eyes closed, your world is still spinning. You take in his sweet minty cologne and smile to yourself “You smell good Jungkook.”

“Is that what you wanted to talk to me about?” he giggles and mumbles quietly to himself “you never use my full name, I kind of like when you say it…” He rests his on your own and gently moves a strand of hair behind your ear. 

You look up to him and find just how close you two are to each other, noses barely touching. You can feel him inch his nose closer while you do the same. It feels like there’s a magnet that draws the both of you towards each other and with your tipsy states there was no use pulling the both of you apart. You can feel his warm breath as he inches closer and a slight smile forms with a flirty look in his eyes. Your own breath hitches and before you have time to pause, his lips are gently meeting yours. You feel yourself melt into his warmth and let your lips move along with his. 

You’ve had many first kisses with many different people. Each first kiss with each person was always the worst, awkward, messy, uncomfortable. With Jungkook, your lips together felt natural, sexy, and pretty close to perfect. 

Your heart fluttered as his strong hands made their way around your waste and lifted you on top of him. You let your hands roam his hair to the back of his neck to deepen the kisses and wrapped your legs over him. You could feel him smile cutely as he slips his tongue into your mouth. You let out a purr which only ignites the monster inside Jungkook further. He tilts your chin further up to allow himself access to your neck and continues to suck hard until he has marked you all over. You slyly slide his jacket off and unbutton his shift. 

“You don’t need this” you wink and remove to reveal his toned abs. You’re practically drooling when you realize he’s don’t the same to you, leaving you quickly in only your undergarments. You quickly loosen his belt and slide down his pants leaving him in just his Ironman boxers. One look at the boxers and you crack up laughing and drop your head to his shoulders.

He kisses your forehead and strokes his fingers through your hair “I’m glad I could make you laugh.” 

“I’m kind of tired if I’m being honest.” You yawn and let your eyes close, still feeling your world spinning a little. 

“Let’s get you to bed” He gently takes hold of your hands and leads you to your room. “Do you want me to grad you some pajamas?”

“Maybe just a T-shirt” you mumble already tucking yourself into bed and letting your eyes close. Jungkook hands you your favorite physics T-shirt and sits down next to on the bed.

“I should probably head out, it’s past 1am.” He gets up to leave, but you’re too quick, already grabbing hold of his arm and looking up at him with puppy dog eyes.

“Stay, please, its late and you’re warm.” You give him your sweetest smile and with a slight pause, Jungkook nods and crawls in next to you, still clad in just his boxers and socks. You smuggle into him absorbing his warmth as he kisses you on the forehead. Both of you with the understanding that you are too drunk to approach the complexity of the situation that just occurred. You look up at him one more time with a sad smile “We’re going to regret this, aren’t we?”


	3. We should talk

You jolt awake to the sound of a screeching alarm clock and a splitting head ache. You quickly slap your phone alarm off and jump out of bed to quickly get ready for work. You rinse your face and rub at your eyes. I feel like I’m forgetting something. You run to the kitchen with a toothbrush hanging loosely from your mouth and attempting to put a sock on your right foot. _What am I forgetting?_ Something is off and you can smell it as you approach the clothes that are still on your living room couch. _Men’s cologne…Jungkook’s cologne…_ Realization hits you like a truck and you audibly gasp and run back into your room.

There, sleeping soundly with your blanket just barely covering his bare torso, is Jeon Jungkook. His hair is sticking up in all directions and he cutely mumbles something incomprehensible in his sleep. All you want to do is climb right into bed and cuddle right up next to him. _Stupid, stupid, stupid._ You’ve been friends, best friends, for four years, only to have it all ruined by one drunken night. All the laughs, cries, inside jokes, how can you go back to that after what you two almost did? You cringe at the awkward thoughts of approaching him later and don’t even realize that you’ve been holding your breath.

You sigh thinking about Taehyung, your other friend who would feel betrayed if he knew what you did with his ex. Sure you are all still in the same friend group and its been a year since they broke up, but that doesn’t mean you can it wouldn’t hurt Tae.

Your gaze leaves quickly from Jungkook when you think of Jimin, unable to handle the guilt of what you just did. The one you called your ‘soul friend’ because of how similar you two were. He’s cared for Jungkook for years, how can you just take that away from him?

Jungkook stirs slightly in his sleep in an attempt to get more comfortable. Your eyes soften watching him grab hold of more blanket to cover himself. After four years of friendship, if you knew anything it was that Jungkook was hard to wake up, so leaving him to sleep in while you head off to work seems to be the best way to avoid the situation.

……………..

The air outside makes your face sting and you slosh your feet through the snow. You spot a bubbly blonde with a bucket hat covering her bangs waving frantically at you.

Her cherry red lips form a friendly smile “Hurry Cutie! We’re opening in 5!” She opens the door for you to the tiny coffee shop the both of you work at. She throws you a rag for you to wipe down tables while she starts brewing coffee. “Soooooo, how are you feeling? I even learned from dance moves your booty popping self.” She juts out her own booty to emphasize her point.

You can tell she’s teasing you for being too drunk by the way she giggles “A little bit of a head ache, but I’m feeling…alright” the last bit trails off when thinking about the surprise you woke up to this morning. “Did you have fun? Any luck trying to get Jennie to notice you?”

She sighs dramatically and drapes herself across the counter, banging her head a little on the wood “No, I used all the flirty things you taught me, too! Winking, that cute smile you always give Namjoon.” You scowl at her when she starts to theatrically attempt to mimic you. “Oh Namjoon! Thank you for helping me with chemistry! Oh Namjoon! Yes! I’ll help you with math! Namjoon, ki-“

She’s cut off quickly by your rag hitting her face “I do not flirt with him!” you argue while putting on your work apron “We just… help each other out because we’re in the same classes.”

“Oh please, you should have seen the way he looked when he saw you leave with Jungkook.”

You freeze hearing his name and look back at Lisa “Me and Kook are just friends, everyone knows that. I don’t know why everyone thinks that we’re into each other” your voice rises a bit and you rub your temples thinking of all the times your friends have asked if your closeness meant something more than just friends.

“Jeez, calm down I was just joking. No one is accusing you of anything.” She rolls her eyes at you and flashes her bright smile to the first customer that enters the coffee shop “What can I get for you- Oh hi Jungkook?”

You whip your head towards the register to see a freshly showered and changed Jungkook. How did he change so fast? He gives you a shy smile and turns towards Lisa. “I’ll have a-“

You cut him off already knowing what he’s going to get “Caramel mocha latte with extra cinnamon?”

He nods and gives you another adorable small smile that makes your heart flutter more than it should. Lisa turns to you and with one raise of an eyebrow gives you a ‘this is why people think you’re dating’ look that makes you roll your eyes.

Jungkook sits down in his usual corner and opens his sketch book, you’ve never been allowed to look inside but have always wondered what he draws. Ever since you’ve started working here, Jungkook’s become a regular in the coffee shop, and has brought quite the business with him. With his boyish good lucks and lean muscular figure, its no wonder that boys and girls all over this campus want to get a chance to even just sit by him while he sits his coffee.

You design a cute panda bear in his latte with steamed milk and chocolate and walk over to hand it over to him. Jungkook quickly puts his sketch book down and gives you his wide bunny smile.

“Am I ever going to be able to see what you draw?” You try to peak your head over his hands to see his notebook.

“I’m not very good, I don’t want to be embarrassed…” He trails off, his cheeks tinting a rosy pink. He’s averting eye contact and you sigh knowing exactly what he’s going to say “Um… we should talk.”


	4. Do I make you uncomfortable?

Jungkook’s point of view

My hands had a mind of their own when it came to sketching. Whenever I didn’t know what to draw, I just let my hands take hold of the pencil and let the lines on the page form. Lately everything I’ve been doodling always connects back to you. Today it’s this latte you gave me. The truth is, I don’t even like caramel mocha lattes, I don’t even like coffee. I asked you on your first day of work what you recommended, and you pointed to this on the menu. Since then, I just let you make it for me every single time. You always put the most intricate designs in your coffee. Today, a panda bear, last weekend, a bunny because you said it reminds you of my smile.

Besides my lack of affinity for coffee, there are a lot of truths you don’t know about me. You don’t know that my favorite color is yellow when you think it’s black. You don’t know that my brother keeps asking if we’re a couple because of how much I talk about you. You don’t know that I pretended to be asleep this morning so I wouldn’t make you uncomfortable before work. Do I make you uncomfortable now? Before last night, you didn’t know my true feelings for you, do you know now?

I flitted my gaze away from my latte and onto you. You brush your slightly messy hair behind your ear before continuing your work. The way you become so focuses on whatever you are doing makes me smile. You focus so much on your schoolwork and other people, when are you going to start focusing on yourself?

I can pinpoint the exact time and place I realized that I had a crush on you. It was fall of last year and you were dawning a huge green rain coat. You flashed me your world-famous bubbly smile that could make any person feel comfortable in your presence.

“Kookie let’s do something fun today, I’m sick of studying.” You pouted cutely and pulled at my arm towards your beige jeep.

“Woah, you’re not driving” I said and hopped in the driver’s seat “Where do you want to go?”

“Let’s go to the city, I could use a warmer coat” you shivered and proceeded to turn up the music from your passenger seat. It was my favorite song at the time, and you were singing along, quite badly. The way you danced in your seat and purposely screeched the high notes to make me laugh was the moment I started to catch my breath looking at you.

I never knew why I didn’t notice you before. You were kind, consoling Jimin when him and Yoongi got into a fight about sharing food. You were spontaneous and adventurous, running off with Taehyung one morning to feed baby goats. You were funny, your puns worse than Jin’s and able to make a whole room crack with one goofy dance move. And you were smart, getting better grades than Namjoon. Four years of friendship and I only started noticing you a year ago. Why hadn’t I noticed you before? Do you notice me at all?

“Jungkook”

I blink away from you to Lisa who’s standing in front of me and picking up my plate. “Huh?”

“Stop drooling” She smirks “You look like hell, need another coffee?”

I forgot how blunt Lisa can be. I look past her to you who’s smiling at the next customer “I didn’t sleep much last night, yeah I’ll take another coffee.”

Lisa shrugs it off and goes back behind the counter and my mind is filled with the thoughts of last night. The way we moved together and connected felt so right, like our lips were made for each other. The thought of our states makes the coffee Lisa sets down more bitter than usual. We were drunk. I could taste the vodka on both our lips and woke up to a terrible feeling of nausea in the pit of my stomach. _Did I feel sick from the alcohol or what I did?_ This past year, all I’ve done is dream about kissing you, but this is not how I wanted it to happen. I wanted to take you out on a date, walk you home, kiss you before you go inside, and end the night there. What was I to you now? An almost one-night stand? A mistake?

I look back to the coffee Lisa gives me. There an intricate tulip design in the middle that’s been slightly ruined from my sips. If I continue sipping, the tulip will surely be ruined. If we continue what happened last night, will our friendship be ruined?

The bell of the coffee shop rings and jolts me out of my day dreaming. I see a tall handsome man with sleek silver hair walk in. Namjoon. We’ve been friends for years but right now the sight of him makes my stomach churn. I watch as he leans over the counter towards you with his charming smile.

“Hey cutie, where’d you run off to last night, you left so quickly?” I hear him say. The nickname doesn’t feel right coming off his lips

“I have a name you know” I watch as you giggle towards him and get ready to take his order. “I wasn’t feelings so good, so Jungkook walked me home. What can I get for you?” I stare at you, but I know you’re avoiding eye contact.

“I’ll take a black coffee, extra hot” He looks over at me and nods. “Do you want to start studying for finals tomorrow? I know you probably are sick of coffee, but we can meet at the coffee shop by the library.”

_Is that supposed to be a date?_ I close my eyes and force myself to breath. _They always study together, calm down._

“Sure!” you say cheerfully and hand Namjoon his coffee. “Be careful, its hot.”

Namjoon walks over to me and I can’t help but look him up and down. He’s wearing a caramel peacoat over a cream sweater and thick glasses that make him look sexy rather than nerdy. _Of course, Namjoon’s a better fit! They’re perfect for each other! How can I compete with his brains and looks?_

“Hey Kook, mind if I join you?” He sits anyway and the action bothers me but I’m not sure why.

“No please sit. What brings you here? Just getting coffee or hoping you could grab a certain someone’s attention.” The last bit of my sentence comes out more bitterly than I intended.

Namjoon lifts his cup with a grin and winks at me “Well coffee isn’t the only perk of this coffee shop. Anyway, what are you working on?”

Namjoon’s always been someone I look up to. But today, every trait I used to admire is slowly annoying me. His charisma, his wit, his brains. “Just some sketches for my final project.”

“Oh…that’s cool” He takes big sip of coffee. “You should see the app I’m trying to build, maybe you can sketch some stuff for it, I’ll give you commission if it goes anywhere.”

I hated talking school work with Namjoon. I always feel looked down on for choosing graphic design while my other friends chose more ‘practical’ career paths.

“No, it’s ok, I need to focus on my project anyway.” The conversation was turning awkward quickly and a shift in subject needed to happen fast. “Um, Namjoon?”

“Hmm?”

“Want to go to the gym with me and Jimin later?”

“Yeah buddy, I have to go study now, but text me later.” He nods to me with a polite smile and leaves, waving to you before departing.

I look back at the sketches I completed for the day. Fuck, they’re all lattes, how am I supposed to be successful with latte drawings? I flip through my old sketches. There’s a jeep with music notes protruding from it, an action drawing of Hoseok and Jimin dancing, Jin focused on his videogames, and a portrait of you, smiling widely with your eyes closed.

“Kook”

I jump and quickly close the sketch book.

“Y-yes?”

“I’m on my break, do you want to talk now?”

“No, you only have a 5-minute break, let’s wait until your off” I can tell I’m making you nervous. No, this will not be a quick 5-minute conversation like I know you want it to be. You nod and go back behind the counter and back to work. You never took your break when you worked and it wasn’t surprising to see you attending other customers.

I let my head rest in my arms and drop my elbows to the coffee table in front of me. Patience was a virtue…one that I didn’t have. After everything that happened there’s only one thing that keeps gnawing me with anxiety: _do I make you uncomfortable?_


	5. You have no idea

Counters wiped down, mugs washed, left over coffee put away. Everything was done for your shift today.

“Looks like you’ve done everything for close! You can go now, I’ll lock up” Lisa pops up behind you points with her chin towards the door “Someone’s waiting for you”

You hang your apron on a hook and open the door with quick wave and a smile towards Lisa. You walk outside and sigh seeing the person waiting for you.

“You didn’t have to wait for me Kook”

“I don’t mind! Plus, I know if I didn’t you would try to run away from me” He leans down towards you and taps your nose. You crinkle nose in response and give him a playful glare.

“Okay okay, let’s talk” You start walking and follows rushing next to you “I know you didn’t like the Panda I made you, it looked more like a pug didn’t it?”

You smile when he falls right into your trap “The panda was adorable! Nothing wrong with a pug looking panda. I would even go as far as saying pandas are my favorite bears- wait! I’m onto you! You are not getting out of this conversation that easily.”

Your lips purse into a thin line while you wait for him to go on.

“About last night. We were both drunk and I just don’t like the idea that we could have taken advantage of each other and I’m happy we didn’t go any further.” Your chest tightens hearing him say this. Jungkook was being extremely rational and you agreed with everything he said, but right now for some reason you felt very rejected. “That being said, I just want you to know-“

“Jungkook, I get it, you didn’t like what we did, you didn’t like doing that stuff with me.

His doe eyes widen and his bunny teeth show from his gaped mouth “Wait, that’s not what I sa-“

“Its ok, I’m sorry about my drunken self-last night.”

“We were both drunk, you’re not to blame” He looks down sadly his voice trailing.

“We’re friends, we’ve always been friends. I’m not interested in you that way either. How about we just forget about this whole thing and stay friends?”

Jungkook gives you a have hearted smile but there’s a hint of anger in his eyes. “Yeah. ok.” Jungkook abruptly walks away from you.

“Wait Kook! Are you mad at me!” You chase after him.

“No, I just have other plans”

“Oh…ok…bye…” You walk the other way kicking an innocent snowman. “What did I just do…”

…..

“Cutie!!!” you pull the phone away from your ear from the shout on the other line

“Why does everyone keep calling me that” you giggle but tilt your head at the realization that no one really uses your name anymore “Do you need anything?”

You can hear Taehyung humming to himself on the other line “So! I was thinking, we haven’t hung out in so long, want to go to the mall with Jennie and I?”

The list of things you need to do flashes through your head. “What the hell why not! I was supposed to start homework but I’m studying with Namjoon tomorrow, so I’ll just do it then. When did you want to go?” you are already peering out your window to see Jennie’s truck in your driveway.

“Now! Get in loser, we’re going shopping”

The ride to the mall is filled with singing from Taehyung’s deep voice. Jennie turns down the music to allow for more conversation.

“I had so much fun last night! What about you guys? Did you have fun?”

You let out a hmmm as a response and are thankfully saved by Taehyung’s chatter.

“Yup! It was a little weird though.”

You lean over the console from the back seat to get into the conversation more. “What? Why? What happened?”

“Well… I don’t know… It’s just a little weird for me when Jimin flirts with Jungkook so much.”

You lean back and stare out the window. _I fucked up._

“Oh come on Tae, he’s going to start dating someone else eventually.” Jennie chimes in.

“Yeah, but does it have to be someone else I’m friends with?” He turns to you “What do you think.”

“Um… I guess I can see both sides. He won’t be single forever and its only natural for him to get with someone he’s close with…” you gulp seeing his face fall “But I can see why you would be hurt.”

Jennie shrugs it off and continues chatting about how she wants a new pair of boots for the window.

…..

Jungkook’s point of view

…..

I got to the gym to find Namjoon, Jimin, Jin, Yoongi, and Hoseok waiting in the lobby. A simple gym trip with Namjoon and Jimin turned into almost my whole friend group joining.

“Jk!” Jin greets with a pat on the back “We’re going to go play soccer”

I nod and follow them to the indoor court.

“Me, Jungkook, and Namjoon vs Yoongi Hoseok and Jin” Jimin slides his arm through mine.

“No fair! You’re leaving me stuck with these two” Jin points to Hoseok and Yoongi, one dancing his feet over the ball in an attempt to dribble and the other resting his eyes on the bench.

“We have god of destruction so it evens out” Jimin points to Namjoon who with terrible luck just happen to be trying to fix the soccer net goal that he ripped earlier.

I was starting to lose patience “Lets just start” I unlaced from Jimin’s arm and jogged out to my place as a forward.

“What’s gotten into him? He’s being influenced by Yoongi too much” Jin laughs it off and jogs to his spot across from me followed by everyone else, Jimin and Hoseok as defenses, and Yoongi and Namjoon as goalies.

…..

“Let’s call it a game!” Jin yells when I score my 10th goal, leaving the score to 11 to 2 (Jimin and Yoongi scored with Namjoon scoring on himself)

Hoseok pats me on the back and flinches when I turn towards him unamused “Hey you didn’t have to go that hard, I was terrified of you muscle kook!”

“I was just playing the game” I wipe my sweat with a rag and take a large sip from my water bottle.

“What’s gotten into you kid, you usually go easy on us” Yoongi sits down while Jimin passes him his water.

“I think I know what’s wrong. It’s about a certain someone isn’t it” Hoseok’s eyebrows wiggle and Namjoon smacks his arm, clearly starting to get mad as well.

“What are you implying” my jaw clenches. I’m not sure exactly why I was getting so mad. “We’re just friends, that was made clear to me today….”

Jin’s laughing stops and he looks at me worried “What do you mean? Did you finally make a move?”

Jimin jumps in quickly “Let’s just leave Jungkook alone”

Yoongi chuckles “Our little Kookie finally made a move. Who cares if you were rejected, you went farther than any of us thought you would.”

I blush when my mind goes to the thoughts of our heated night before. _You have no idea_


	6. Stay

He hasn’t texted you or talked to you in 3 days. No gifs, no memes, no random facts of knowledge. You wanted so badly to tell him about how Namjoon awkwardly hugged you after your studying session or how you almost exploded your lab by mixing the wrong chemicals together. You shove your face between your knees and groan. “Yeah our friendship is ruined.” You sink further into your couch as if it will consume all your anxiety over Jungkook. You looked at the clock: 7pm, you and Jungkook’s favorite show would be on soon and he wasn’t in his usual spot on the sofa to watch it with you. The sound of your phone sends you scrambling to see who texted you

**Bunny boy**: I’m coming over and I’m bringing pizza

You smile at the text. _Finally, things can go back to normal!_

**You:** With pineapple, right? 0.0

**Bunny Boy:** -_- I’m not a monster! I got pepperoni

**You:** Boooooooo T_T

You jump up excitedly to a knock on the door and swing the door open and snag the pizza from Jungkook.

“Just be happy I brought pizza” He smiles and plops himself on the couch turning on the TV.

You pass him a slice and shove your own in your mouth “We’re doing pineapple next time! I want there to be so much pineapple that I can’t see the cheese”

“Weirdo, fruit should not be on pizza. Dairy and fruit is just…weird” he gives you a disgusted look and munches on his pizza.

“Says the kid who only drinks banana milk” you giggle and jump over the back of the couch next to him.

“I’m not a kid! I’m only a few months younger than you!” he whines but smiles anyway. Both of you can feel things slowly going back to normal.

“Yeah I’m older than you, you should respect me” you change the channel to watch the new episode of ‘The Masked Singer’

“I don’t respect anyone that likes pineapple on pizza” you roll your eyes at his comment and playfully shove him. “I’ll go turn off the lights!”

Even though your joking seems to go back to normal, you feel very different around him. Every time you look over at him, your eyes subconsciously wander to his lips. He would laugh at something the host said and all you wanted was to hear him laugh more. You shuffle awkwardly in your seat and try to brush away the thoughts. _He doesn’t like me like that. _

Jungkook gets more comfortable and leans closer to you on the couch. His musky mint scent leaves your senses heightened and heart races louder. _Why does he have to wear that cologne!_ You lean in closer, too infatuated by the smell to think clearly. His warmth entices you and you find your self laying your head on his shoulder. He stiffens at your touch, but you don’t care, his comfy shoulder is the only thing that matters to you.

“I can move if you want me to” You mumble

“No, its fine, what are friends for right?” He lets out a harsh laugh but stops himself quickly. “Hey about our ‘conversation’”

You look up at him “hmm?”

“I never really got to tell you what was on my mind” he starts and you wait for him to continue “Even though we were drunk, I-I had a lot of fun with you. I haven’t really done anything like that since Taehyung, and I don’t know, I enjoyed doing that stuff with you… Is that okay to say?”

“I felt the same way. I haven’t been with someone since Jackson a year ago and I had a lot of fun with you too.” You leaned more into his shoulder, a wave of relief falling over you that you could get this off your chest. You sigh when the next wave of realization hits you “No one can know though…”

“I wasn’t going to tell anyone, but why not?”

“Well, I’m still friends with Tae and I don’t want to hurt his feelings and there are…other people that might get hurt” Jimin’s smile flashes through your mind.

“So, I’m assuming that means you won’t go on a date with me?” he gives you a sad smile and nods with understanding. “I guess I kind of just wanted to have…more fun with you…”

You nod and close your eyes. You have two choices right now, completely give up your chances with Jungkook and keep your friendship as a friendship or try to go after Jungkook’s heart and completely ruin your friendship with Taehyung and Jimin.

“But what if there’s a third choice” you whisper to yourself.

“What?”

“Jungkook, is it okay to be selfish?”

“Sometimes, what are you thinking?”

“Well… what if we could still have fun… and not hurt anyone’s feelings….”

He gives you a puzzled look and waits for you to continue.

“We could…um…stay friends…but still have fun if you know what I mean?” This was you being selfish. You wanted Jungkook, and you wanted him in anyway that you could, even if that meant lying to your friends. _Is it really lying, or withholding the truth? They don’t need to know about the nature of my relationship._

“Y-you mean like f-friends with benefits?” He stops and stares at the TV to ponder this for a moment. He looks back and you and something shifts in his eyes “Show me”

You gulp and move both your plates from your laps and swing your leg over his body so your on top of him. You run your fingers through his long hair and rest your hands on the back of his neck. He leans in close to you so your foreheads are touching. He bites his lip and goes for a kiss but you pull away playfully, resting your lips on his neck instead. He moans breathily and you let your body move against him. You kiss his chin, inching close to his lips until you can’t help yourself and gently let your lips move together. He smiles through your cute pecks and kisses you harder.

You tug at his shirt to feel the abs you remembered from the other night. He lets you slide his white T-shift off and does the same with your mustard sweatshirt, only to reveal other light pink T-shirt “Why are you wearing so much clothes.” He says harshly tugging at your shirt.

“If you don’t like it, do something about” you smirk and kiss his neck more while he easily tosses your shirt off and to the side. With every touch, every move, you can feel yourself wanting Jungkook more and more, your anatomy not disagreeing with you. Jungkook reacts to your touches hastily slipping his tongue between your lips.

“Are you comfortable?” He asks between kisses. “Let’s get you somewhere more comfortable” He lifts you up, wrapping your legs around his waste and starts heading to your bedroom.

Something in you gets very nervous. Although your body wants Jungkook, your brain isn’t ready to take that next step with Jungkook. You begin to panic and glance around the room, your eyes falling on the TV “Jungkook!” You pat his back eagerly to get his attention.

He stops kissing your neck and looks up at you before putting you down. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, one of the masked singers was revealed!” You jump away from him and onto the couch.

He laughs at your goofiness and sits next to you. “Looks like I won the bet, you owe me some lamb skewers.”

“I could have sworn it would have been that other actor! From that romance movie we watched that one-time last spring!” You know he has no clue who you’re taking about, you don’t even know who you’re talking about, but you’re happy things seemed to have cooled down.

“Well now that Masked singer is over, I should probably head home.” He grabs his shirt and throws yours to you.

You look over at him and its as if your world has slowed down. You don’t want him to leave, you wanted to stop before the both of you had sex, but you didn’t want him to leave. Before you know it, your hand is grabbing onto his write “Stay”


	7. I'm here for you

A slight smile makes its way across your face as Jungkook nuzzles his face into the back of your neck. You feel his arms wrap tighter around your smaller frame. Your eyes widen when realizing who’s in your bed…once again.

“Shit shit shit, not again” You mumble to yourself and jump out of your bed, only to pick up your phone and see the time “I’m late!”

Your shout makes Jungkook stir in his sleep and you rustle him further until he’s fully awake.

“Kookie we have class in 20 minutes! Jimin should be here any minute!” With that you hear a knock on the door.

“Hey! I know you’re awake! Open the door before I annoy your neighbors!” Jimin’s knock persist.

Jungkook looks up at you with his terrified doe eyes and his mouth slightly parted, revealing his bunny teeth. Your eyes soften at how cute he looks with his bed head all messy. “Closet” you grab his wrist and push him into your closet “Just hide, I’ll distract Jimin” You grab sweatshirt and sweatpants before running to the door.

“Jimin, why are you so loud” You open the door to reveal a perfectly groomed silver haired Jimin “Did you dye your hair”

“Isn’t it cool! Maybe Jung- “you pull him in to a cute hug and peck him on the cheek before he can say anything “Wow you’re affectionate today.” He giggles and scrunches his nose “You smell funny today, kind of different. Also why aren’t you ready? Usually you have breakfast ready for me and everything.”

“I slept through my alarm… and you can’t keep stealing my food!” You walk over to the kitchen pour him a bowl of cereal. “Eat this while I get ready, we should leave soon to get the best seats in class”

“No one but you wants to sit in the front row of the lecture” He rolls his eyes at you but takes his place on your couch and turns on the TV.

You run back to your room and quickly shut the door. Jungkook opens the closet and stretches his limbs from the stiffness of the small enclosure. He strides over to hug you but you stop him. “Turn around, I need to change.” You whisper.

He places his hands on his shoulders and inches closer to your face before putting his lips right next to your ear, the act giving you mild shivers “It’s nothing I haven’t seen before…” You roll your eyes and push him away, looking over to see a confident smirk on his face. “Just… wait here, I’ll leave with Jimin and you can leave later.” You mumble quickly changing into dark jeans and a mustard sweater. It usually doesn’t take you long to get ready, 10 minutes tops, but with Jungkook’s wandering eyes and Jimin in the other room, you finish getting ready in 5 minutes.

You pop out of your room shutting the door on the way out “I’m ready, let’s go!”

“But I’m not finished with my cereal” he whines but you take his bowl and grab his hand pushing him out the door.

“Wait! I forgot something!” You quickly run back into your apartment, slamming the door before Jimin can follow you and skip over to your room where Jungkook is making the bed. He tilts his head in confusion when you jump up wrapping your arms around your neck. You know you both have been crossing the lines of your so called ‘friendship’ but you don’t care. You peck his lips quickly and give him a flirty smile before leaving “Bye Kookie” you whisper and wink before leaving.

_Maybe I am flirty…_

“What did you forget?” Jimin asks staring you up and down.

“uhhhh… deodorant, you said I smelled so…” He laughs and runs his fingers through his newly dyed hair.

“I didn’t say you smelled bad, just different, have you been bothering too much of Jungkook’s things?” Jimin eyes you carefully “you were even wearing his sweatshirt this morning”

A blush creeps across your cheeks. You threw on that outfit without even realizing what you were wearing _Think fast! _“Oh right! He came over last night to watch the Masked Singer and left it, I must’ve fell asleep with it on” you breath out in relief when Jimin seems to believes you.

As usual, you take your seat in the front of your chemistry lecture and Jimin plops next to you “Ugh I hate chemistry, I don’t understand why it’s a requirement for pre-med” he slumps his head into his head. You give him a ‘really?’ look “Dude you need to know chemistry to be a doctor”

“Hi!” you jump seeing Namjoon and Jin plop next to you “Oh come on Jimin, chemistry is not that bad”

Jin chimes in with his windshield wiper laugh “Not that bad! This is terrible, I’m with you Jimin.”

“Jin, aren’t all your classes fun taste testing classes.” You tease

“Hey, even food science majors need to know some well, science.”

The professor walks in and glares are the four of you chatting away. Namjoon swats at Jin while you smack Jimin’s arm to quiet down.

….

_Jungkook’s point of view_

….

The department of arts was small at this school, we all knew each other and most formed into their cliques within major. Not my friends though, for some reason we all clung together even though almost all of us are studying different things with you, Namjoon, Jimin, and Jin in the sciences, Chaeyoung and Hoseok in the liberal arts, Lisa and Jisoo in business, and Yoongi, Jennie, and Taehyung in the arts. We all found each other our first year when trying to avoid the crowded fraternity party downstairs. I clung to Taehyung while you seemed to cling to Jimin. Even then, I couldn’t help feeling like there was something that wanted us to keep talking to each other.

“Hey Kook” I look over to hear who the lazy voice belonged to to see a sleepy ball of blonde hair. “You look more chipper than usual” He’s sitting on the bench at the entrance of the art building.

“Did Jimin convince you to dye your hair” I rub my hand against the back of my neck and change the subject quickly away from me. Yoongi has a way of knowing everything before you tell him. I can’t risk showing any signs of what’s going on with me and you.

Yoongi nods “Yeah, he promised me he would leave me alone for a week if I did this.” He yawns and stands up “Well, I have to get to the piano room, make sure you get some sleep when you don’t stay at home.”

I blink over at Yoongi who is already far down the hall. What does he mean by that? Does he know? I shake the thought away quickly knowing Yoongi wouldn’t care enough to say anything to others. I start to walk to class only to bump into Taehyung and Jennie who are walking with linked arms towards their fashion class. I can’t help but feel underdressed seeing both dressed head to toe in Gucci “Hey Jungkook!” Jennie is friendly as usual with Taehyung giving me a small wave. I give them a smile with a bow and head over to my art history class. Taehyung and I broke up two years ago, but it was still awkward with him. He can’t still be upset at me for breaking up with him. My mind wanders to how we started dating in the first place…

I had just joined my fraternity, told that partying was the only way a freshman could make friends. I looked around to see the house already filling by 11:00pm. It felt like the air in my lungs was being stolen from me as I had to nudge my way through crowds of people just to get a drink. My stomach churned and my senses heightened experiencing the atmosphere I was stuck in, sweaty bodies, little clothes, smooth words, sticky floors, and a very strong stench of alcohol. Someone handed me a plastic red cup and with one sip I found myself dumping the rest in a house plant nearby.

Even though people were around me, I have never felt so alone. I found myself trudging up the stairs in search of a place to breath. There I found a person in a room by themselves. They seemed out of character, clad in an oversized pastel yellow cardigan and a pair of long black corduroy pants. I tilted my head at the warm outfit that resembled a bumble bee. What was stranger was what that person was doing. They were standing over a piece of paper with obscure scribbles tapping their chin with a pencil.

“Are you doing homework at a party?”

The person looked up sweeping their messy hair away from their eyes and smiled “N-no, I-I was just…fixing some of the math problems. This isn’t yours is it?”

I chuckled at the awkward figure, at least I wasn’t the only one “No, I think Jackson lives in this room” I recalled remembering all the fraternity members introducing themselves to me when I joined.

The person smiled and their shoulders slumped in relief “That’s a relief, their homework was terrible, I fixed a lot, do you need this room? I can leave.” They cutely pointed their thumbs towards the door

“No no, I’m just trying to avoid the party. I’m assuming you’re doing the same?” They nodded and sat down on the floor, gesturing for me to sit down. “I’m Jungkook by the way.”

“Jungkook? That’s a long name, why don’t I call you Jung? No no that doesn’t sound right, how about Kook?” They never did introduce themselves, but I later found out that this was person was you, the person I found strange, but oddly endearing. I smiled at the name and heard a knock at the door. One person peeped their head in. It was a tall man with an almost perfect face and side swept hair.

“Am I interrupting something? We just wanted to find a place to hang out.” He opens the door wider and gestures towards three others, a smaller girl with a cute smile, a beautiful girl with fierce eyes, and a shorter male with sleepy eyes.

“Come in! We’re just avoiding the crowd too” you chime in happily gesturing for them to join you on the floor.

Somehow within a half an hour, the room is filled with ten other people I would soon call my best friends. The last two to arrive were a tall man with a boxy smile and a shorter man with pillow like lips. The man known as Jimin sees your outfit and immediately plops himself next to you, gushing about how much he loves how individualistic you are. I look over at the tall boy and find myself lost in all his features from his sharp nose to his perfect lips and large goofy ears, he looked perfect. He must have seen me staring because he sat right next to me, his body grazing against me as he sat. The action made me blush and I quickly looked away towards you who was eyeing me curiously. You raised your eye brows suggestively looking from me to the boy and winked before continuing your conversation with Jimin.

“I’m Taehyung, but you can call anything you want baby” He whispered the last part close to my ear and my throat closed from the nerves. I looked back over at you and you pointed to your smile. I looked back at Taehyung and smiled which was probably bigger than I thought it was going to be. “How am I going to call you if I don’t have your number?”

Taehyung and I talked for the rest of the night, my nerves gone thanks to your help. I was infatuated with his charismatic charm and angelic looks. At the end of the night, he walked me home and left me with a kiss at my door. I couldn’t sleep for the next two hours that night, staring at the newly entered number in my phone.

I met all my best friends that night, especially you. You were easy to talk to, you were already odd so there was no pressure for me to be something I wasn’t. You were there for me through out everything, my first love…and my first heart break…

**Me**

We need to talk

It terrified me to do what I had to do, but I knew it was the right decision. Taehyung and I dated for a year, but the last few months felt like we were barely even acquaintances.

I walked over to the bench Taehyung was sitting on and gently inched my way down, careful not to be too close or too far.

“I know why you’re here” He sighed looking over at me with puffy eyes.

“I-I” I shut my mouth unable to say the words “Listen, we got together when we first started school. We met when we were so impressionable, eager to please, eager to make friends, eager to find love…” I swallowed hard before continuing “You have to admit, we’ve grown a lot since we started dating. We’re not the same as we used to be…. We haven’t even hung out alone in months.”

“Just break up with me already” The crack in Taehyung’s voice made me whimper from sadness

“It might be best if we’re just friends…” I licked my lips that were quickly drying. “We need to break up.”

Taehyung sighed once again and gave me a struggling smile “I know, I agree. It’s still hard though. We’ve been through a lot together…” He stood up slowly putting his hands in his pockets. “Can I have one last kiss from those pretty lips.” I smiled sadly and gave him a quick peck before nodding and both parting our ways.

As I turned away from Taehyung, my vision started blurring more and more from the build up of tears. I didn’t know where I was walking, I just wanted to walk away from Taehyung before I changed my mind and ran back. I somehow ended up in from of your apartment and looked up to see the light was on in your bedroom. I squinted at the window and noticed that you were dancing with a huge pair of headphones on. The sight made me smile genuinely for the first time in days. I walked into your apartment knowing you never lock your door (something many of us shamed you for everyday) and locked the door behind me.

I stood at the doorway into your room and raised my eyebrows at you when you noticed me. You jumped in fright and threw your headphones at me.

“Kook you scared me! I thought I was getting robbed!” You crinkled you nose and sat down on your bed “Why doesn’t anyone knock anymore!”

“Serves you right for not locking your door” I sat on your bed and threw my shoes into the hallway. I looked down and brushed my hair over the eyes quickly so you wouldn’t see how red they were.

You of course saw right through this and lifted my chin, pushing my hair out of my face “Were you… crying…” you trailed before giving me a saddened look “Kook what happened? You can talk to me”

Your soft eyes looked all too sincere and I broke down quickly dropping my face into my hands “I-I b-broke up T-Tae.” I mumbled wiping snot from my nose.

“Oh Kook” You took my form into your arms and stroked your fingers soothingly through my hair “I promise it will get better with time. I’m here for you, ok?”


	8. Jackson

1 month later

It was the start of a new semester, everyone’s last semester together. It had been a few weeks since you had last seen Jungkook, and you couldn’t help but miss him, from his angelic voice to his cuddles to his cute little laugh. You had been texting the whole break, acting more and more like a couple than you intended, he was getting more comfortable complimenting you, and you were getting more and more comfortable flirting with him.

You were walking on the back trails to his apartment that he shared with Jin when you noticed Yoongi in a hammock with his eyes closed. You trudged through the snow still present on the ground towards Yoongi, getting really close to his face before screaming “Yoongi!” in his ear. He woke up thrashing around and fell out of his hammock into the snow. You burst out into laughter, falling back into the snow yourself

“Why you gotta be that way” he whined shaking the snow off himself and jumping back in his hammock. He lit a joint and placed it between his lips. 

“Aren’t you cold hammocking in the winter?” you asked wiping some snow off your butt.

“It gives me inspiration.” He said in a bored tone “None of you fuckers are going to inspire me, so I have to go out to nature.”

“Harsh” You pouted “Admit it, you’ve written a song about us before.”

“Yup, it’s called why am I friends with these fools.” He teased with a light hearted chuckle, popping his headphones into his years “What are you doing here anyway?”

“This is the quickest way to… Jin’s” you said, not wanting to give away how much time you’ve actually been spending with Jungkook.

“Yeah because Jin’s the one your with every night” He mumbled sarcastically. You gave him a shocked look. “Oh come on, you both are so obvious, just make it official already.”

“It-it’s complicated, there’s Taehyung and Namjoon that will get hurt an-and not to mention Jimin. That would break his heart.” You were flustered now unsure if you wanted to stay and talk to Yoongi or run to the comfort of Jungkook “Does anyone else know?”

“Like I said, you all are idiots, no has figured it out expect me.” He closed his eyes getting more comfortable in my hammock “If you keep hiding it, it’s going to be so much worse if it gets out, and with how reckless you two have been, it will get out.”

“It’s not that simple, I don’t think Jungkook even sees me as more of a friend.” Yoongi laughed whole heartedly at your statement. You looked at him offended.

“Please, you both are obsessed with each other. Just be a couple already. I promise you, everyone will get over it. Now, my work here is done, you can go off to… Jin’s” 

You sigh and continue your way to Jungkook’s, Yoongi’s words bringing you the calmness that you’ve been needing for the past month.

You walk into Jungkook’s apartment without knocking per usual, startling Jin who’s cooking. “Yah! You need to knock!”

You laugh and sit on his high-top island watching Jin cook “What are ya making, it smells so good!”

“Not for you! You and JK always stealing my food” with those words you move over next to him and take a bite of the mushrooms he’s sautéing. 

“I can’t help it! Your cooking is so good!”

“Did I hear my name?” Jungkook walks out of his room, a shy smile forming when he sees you. Seeing him with his hair longer and wavier than usual makes your heart flutter. Maybe it was time you talked to Jungkook about your forming feelings. 

“Tell your best friend to stop stealing my food” With Jin’s words, Jungkook walk’s over to pick up a piece of chicken before getting his hand smacked with a wooden spoon. “I only made enough for one.”

Jin continues on talking about how he puts time into his food while Jungkook takes a seat next to you on a stool next to you. You can no longer pay attention when you feel Jungkook’s foot gliding its way playfully across your leg. You inch your stool closer to him so that your shoulders were touching. Jin was so focused on his food that he didn’t notice the sexual tension that was forming between you and Jungkook. He reached his hand behind you and rubbed your back, inching his way down your waste. Yoongi was right, you both were reckless, this was dangerous, but neither of you cared. Jin turned around and Jungkook’s hand immediately went up to his face and you leaned a little away from him.

“Are you both even listening! I’m trying to see if you want to play Mario kart!”

You both looked over at Jin with a shrug and nod and made yourself over to the couch. Jin plopped himself in the middle, much to you and Jungkook’s disappoint. He handed you both game remotes and you couldn’t help but give Jungkook side glances every once in a while, noticing that he was doing the same.

You played for a couple games, Jin winning every time, you and Jungkook too distracted by each other to focus on the game. “Wooowww I never win!” Jin doesn’t seem to notice anything with a big smile on his face. “Jungkook you don’t have to let me win”

“I don’t want to see you upset like last time” he laughs casually “Plus I think you’ve gotten better”

“Oh JK! You are too good to me!” I’ll be right back” He laughs before getting up to use the restroom.

With the click of the bathroom door heard, you and Jungkook give each other one look before practically pouncing on each other. Your lips move with each other naturally, as if it hasn’t been a few weeks since they’ve been together. A click is heard again and you two are far apart, Jungkook wiping his mouth while your fixing your hair. Jin sits himself in the middle, completely unaware of his surroundings and starts the game again. You shift your focus to the game to take your mind away from Jungkook and find yourself winning the next couple games. You look over at Jungkook and see how fidgety he has become, your own impatience growing.

“Hey uh Jin, didn’t you have plans with Namjoon today?”

“Oh yeah! I completely forgot! Should I just invite him over?” Jin looks to you and you can’t say no with his innocent eyes.

“Sure!” you say and look over to Jungkook with apologetic eyes. He lets out a huff and leans back in the couch.

Namjoon arrives quickly and squeezes himself on the couch next to you. Jungkook rolls his eyes and starts the next game of Super Smash Brothers. 

“Hey Kook you know I’m the worst at this game, go after someone else” Namjoon pouts seeing as Jungkook’s character was only fighting his. He leans himself closer to you and whispers in your ear “you’ll go easy on me right?”

You nod and the game continues with Jungkook winning every round. “It’s getting pretty late” you mention peering at the clock in the kitchen reading almost midnight. 

Namjoon nods and gets up from the couch “I’ll take you home”

You panic peering past Namjoon to Jungkook “uhh ok!” Both wave goodbye and you can’t help noticing a pleading look in Jungkook’s eyes that’s staring into you. You wink over at him before leaving with Namjoon.

The ride back to your apartment only takes a few minutes because of how close you live to Jungkook and your conversations with Namjoon always seem to revolve around school work. 

“So, do you have any fun plans this weekend?” The question seemed to spew hesitance coming from Namjoon’s lips. “Did you maybe, uh, want to grab dinner with me?”

Your mind being filled with thoughts of Jungkook distracted you too much to focus on the question. “Yeah sure” you mumbled before hopping out of the car. “Great! I’ll call you” you heard before walking slowly into your apartment. The minute you saw Namjoon’s car pull away from your street you made your way back into the trails leading to Jungkook’s apartment. Thankfully you didn’t cross Yoongi’s path again, so the brisk walk only took you 10 minutes. You found yourself carefully making your way around their apartment building till you found Jungkook’s window on the first floor. You knocked on his window and winked at the shirtless boy in sweatpants that opened the blinds.

“What the- , I thought you left” Jungkook whispered opening the window. You gave him your famous flirty smile “Do you want me or not?” He gulped, his cheeks turning a bright shade of red and pulled you through the window.

You quickly closed the window and blinds and wrapped your arms around him, already kissing all over his neck. “I’m glad you came back” he smirked through your kisses. “I didn’t come here to talk” you whispered in his year and took off your own shirt. He picked you up and gently plopped you on his bed, towering himself over you. You fiddled with his pant string and he took the hint, taking off both your pants quickly. You kissed him deeper, pulling him closer to you. His hands were all over your body. His hands made his way to your underwear while he grinded against you. “Are you ready?” He asked running out of breath and patience. You nodded a little too quickly and kissed his neck while he grabbed a condom from his nightstand drawer…

You woke up with Jungkook missing from the bed. You looked around at your surroundings, clothes were scattered everywhere and the room smelled slightly of sweat. You quickly slipped on your underwear and one of Jungkook’s sweatpants and white t-shirts. He walked into the room with his bunny smile and cup of tea. He leant down and kissed you on the cheek before sitting on the bed next to you. You rested your head on his bare shoulder. “Thank for last night” You said sleepily. 

A knock surfaced itself at the door “JK! Hurry up and get ready, I told Joon we would be there by 10”

Jungkook cursed under his breath and kissed your head gently “I forgot I told them I would go to soccer, can we meet later?”

You nodded “Hey Kook?” he gave you a hmm waiting for you to continue “There’s something I need to talk to you about.” 

“Later, I have to go soon before Jin gets mad” you nodded in response. Soon. Soon you would tell him how you felt. How much you wanted to be more than what you were right now.

…..  
Jungkook’s point of view  
…..

I jogged across the indoor court towards the goal, juggling the ball in front of me. I kicked the ball hard, but Jin caught it before it went into the goal.

Hoseok ran over to Jin cheering “You’re better at sports than we give you credit! Nice save, we might be able to beat Kookie now!” I looked over at Yoongi, our goalie who had let 3 goals in already. “Yoongi switch with me!”

I ran over to the goal and Yoongi seemed happy to oblige. Lisa ran over to the goal post, today, she was our captain. “Ok guys, I’ll go forward with Yoongi, Jimin and Namjoon can stay as defenders, Jungkook go to goal. If we’re going to win, we need you to catch all the goals. 

I put on my gloves and nodded to Jimin and Namjoon who were making casual conversation. Jimin pointed to the weight room where Jackson was working out “I’m surprised he’s not with Chaeyoung, those two are inseparable”

“They broke up” Namjoon said casual. I looked over at them, the conversation topic catching my attention. 

“Huh! Really!” Jimin eyes grew wide “Wait till I tell-“

“I know who you’re going to tell, and just wait before you do, rumor has it he’s going to beg to get back together” Namjoon gave Jimin a pleading look

“Ohh I see what you’re doing, you want to make your move first, alright alright I support it, I’ll wait.” Jimin giggles and ball flies past him and into the goal. Jennie jumps up in happiness giving Taehyung a high five.

“Jungkook! Pay attention! Jimin, Namjoon, stop gossiping” Lisa Sighs and goes back to her place in the front. 

Jungkook took one last glance towards the weight room, his brows furrowing at the sight “Jackson”


	9. Used

Although not very comfortable due to the muscle, you find yourself laying your head on Jungkook’s lap as he draws in his sketch book.

“It’s really hard to draw with you lying on me” he laughs and runs his hands through your hair. You stiffen and sit up trying to get a peak into his notebook. He jerks it away and taps his lap “Lay down, I don’t mind.” You smile and rest the back of your head on his lap looking up at him and the back of his sketch book.

“What was being with Tae like?” you ask more out of curiosity than jealousy. You nose crinkles when some pencil dust falls on your nose. You knew Jungkook was hard to crack, suppressing his emotions till you found him broken at your apartment. He was most vulnerable when sketching and you hoped this was your chance to learn more about his thoughts

He gives you an apologetic look and continues drawing, too focused to realize your questions were about to get more and more personal. “It was…good….” He contemplates for a second before continuing “We never really fought or argued, we got along.”

You purse your lips as if unsatisfied with the answer “What was or is your favorite part about him?”

“He had a way of breaking me out of my shell” Jungkook glided his fingers across his paper smudging a specific corner tenderly. “I used to be so shy and I think he used to make me go to parties or do things that I wasn’t completely comfortable with.”

“Like climb that history building roof?” you recalled hearing the story from Taehyung of how they went up there make out under the stars.

Jungkook chuckles at the memory “Yeah like that. Things that were a little dangerous and sometimes more social than I expected, but I think it was good for me. I met a lot of my friends because people were a lot less intimidating. I took a lot of risks with my art because he pushed me to give it my all. He was good me.”

You nodded understanding “I think you were good for Taehyung too. He was wild freshmen year and I think you kept him grounded. He focused more on school when he was with you, partied less, took less drugs…” Jungkook smiled down at you causing your mind to blank from how breathtaking he was. He looked back at his drawing allowing you to focus on your questions. “You were good for each other. You were the campus’s it couple, why did you break up?”

You couldn’t tell his brows furrowed because of his drawing or your question. It was a question he got often but never from you. Did you betray his trust by asking? He sighed before nodding and answering “When we were together, we didn’t really… talk…. When you’re a horny teenager trying to get laid it seems like the perfect relationship, but that stuff gets old quickly. When we got busier and didn’t have time to stay over at each other’s places, we didn’t really talk. We dated for almost a year and never said I love you.” He laughed coldly at the thought, brows furrowing further “I don’t really know how it happened, but there was a point where I stopped and forgot I was even dating anyone. It was my first real relationship, I thought that was what a relationship was, no talking, just sex. It actually wasn’t until I saw you and Jackson that I realized what a relationship should be, well before he….”

You grimaced thinking of Jackson, someone you tried so hard to forget. You sat up from his lap and leaned yourself against the couch cushion, shutting your eyes. When you opened them, Jungkook had put his sketchbook down and was looking at you with a tilted head. 

“You’ve been asking me a lot of questions; shouldn’t it be your turn?” He raised his eyes at you as your eyes got bigger. “I’ve never heard you talk about Jackson since you both broke up”

If Jungkook was good at suppressing his emotions, you were better, avoiding any conversation that involved Jackson for a year. Jungkook understood this, allowing you to cope on your own, but if you were going to break his hard exterior, he was determined to do the same to you. He inched closer to you and you scrambled back with a yelp until hitting the hard couch arm. “You can’t hide how you feel forever, what he was bad, but I won’t pity you like the others.”

You nodded allowing your shoulders to relax. Pity was the last thing you wanted, so when you found out that Jackson cheated on you, you acted dumped his ass before he knew why acted surprised and happy for him when he got a new lover in a week. No one knew he cheated on you, how did Jungkook know?

As if reading your mind, Jungkook continued “He came to me crying the day after you broke up with him.” You looked at him with shock and he kept speaking “He told me he saw you when you accidently walked in on him and Chaeyoung. He said he tried to run after you, but you were gone.”

Nodding with your eyes shut, you digested the new information “I didn’t know he knew. I thought it I could break up with him before he told me, I would have the power over the situation. It seems silly, but I didn’t want to be the one Jackson cheated on, I didn’t want Jackson to be the cheater, I didn’t want Chaeyoung to be some mistress…”

“You’re a good person for wanting that. It seemed to work, no one knows what happened besides me.”

“What happened next? What did you say to him?” you couldn’t contain your curiosity. Although it had been a year, hearing all of this still stung. 

“Um… I may have punched him” You couldn’t help but smile hearing that “He continued to cry and ask me what he should do. I told him if you knew, you were going to break up with him. You had too much self-respect to stay with that asshole. He told me to make sure you were ok.” You wrapped your hands around his clenched fist. Everything started to make sense, Jungkook had been a lot more prevalent in your life since you broke up with Jackson, visiting you almost everyday the month it had happened, you thought he had just wanted your stock of banana milk.

“Chaeyoung came to me a week later, asking me if it was okay to be with Jackson.” You sighed “It didn’t matter how I felt, they loved each other. I would be selfish to take that away from them and Jackson would stay with me out of guilt if I confronted him. I don’t think Jackson or Chaeyoung are bad people, they just did something bad. I think they both know that, but I don’t want their guilt or their apologies.””

“He was a coward, you’re too good for him” Jungkook relaxed when you rubbed small circles on his back. “How can you not be mad at him? How can you be so kind about this? When he told me, I wanted to kill him, punching him seemed like a good compromise”

You closed your eyes “I was mad, very mad, then I was sad, I think at some point I was even depressed. I couldn’t help thinking that I wasn’t good enough, I gave him everything, but he still didn’t want me. Back then, all I could think was there was something wrong with me. Maybe if I had studied less and spent more time with him, he would still love me. Maybe if I was less awkward with his friends, we would still be together...”

Jungkook wiped the tears that form on your cheeks before you realized it. He hugged you tightly letting his shirt hole the rain of your eyes that began to pour “Shh don’t think like that. There is nothing wrong with you, you have an infinite amount of amazing qualities that he should have cherished when you were together. Honestly, it’s his loss for letting you go. You’re going to make some other person that happiest they’ve ever been.” He poked your side cutely making you giggle from the tickles. You gulped giving him a nervous laugh. Why had your mind immediately go to Jungkook when he mentioned someone else? Of course Jungkook meant some other person, you were just fooling around. 

“Yeah… another person…” you nodded thinking deeply, your thoughts quickly interrupted but Jungkook putting space between you.

“Can I ask you something?” you nodded already fully ready to tell him everything “I used to look at you too and think, ‘that’s what love looks like,’ do you still love him?”

You looked away from Jungkook allowing yourself time to think, it was a thought you avoided “Honestly, I’m not sure… I think a part of me will always care for him and appreciate our relationship, but I can’t forgive him for what he did.”

Jungkook nodded biting his lip before asking the next question “If he asked you back, would you say yes?”

“…Why…” his nervous composure was making your own skin itch.

“There’s been rumors… that he and Chaeyoung broke up…and he’s going to go after you. That’s why Namjoon’s been extra flirty, its like a race before Jackson makes a move.” Jungkook looked away from you.

Your world was no longer colorful, but rather a dull shade of burgundy. Thoughts filled your head. Was this why Jungkook was sleeping with you? To get with you before you were taken? Were you just an object to be possessed by the people around you? You looked over at Jungkook with dark eyes, if this was the case, why hadn’t Jungkook fought to win your heart? Has he only wanted your body?

“Yeah I would take him back” you lied, feeling more hurt than usual. “Like you said, our relationship was great, why would I lose that if I had a chance again.”

He nodded looking more pained than usual. “I should go” and with that he left before you had a chance to panic and stop him, wanting him more than you expected. 

Guilt wrapped around your head, feeling as though you lost your only chance to be with Jungkook. You sunk your head under a pillow on your couch and found yourself screaming into it. Why did the thought of Jungkook using you hurt more than you expected? 

…….  
Jungkook’s point of view  
…….

I walked out of the apartment feeling like I couldn’t breathe, desperately needing the cold air outside to burn my longs. Had I just been used this whole time? I thought I had a chance for once, that you were finally moved on from Jackson. My vision blurred and I found myself punching the nearest thing in front of me, which just happened to be a telephone poll. My stuck my bloodied knuckles in my pocket before walking to the nearest bar. “I’m being used”


	10. Waiting for you call

……….  
Jungkook’s point of view  
………..  
I woke up from a knock at my door then a creaking of it open. “Jungkook-ah, I brought you some tea” My head ached with a piercing pain “How are you feeling?” Jin asked handing me the tea. 

“How did I get home..” I mumbled

“Ah Hoseok found you at the bar drunk out of your mind and called me to pick you up. He said you made out with a girl while you were there” Jin patted my back while I groaned, hanging my head in my hands.

“Who…” I mumbled, unable to completely process what I had just done. 

“Chaeyoung” Jin sighed, “Ah Kook this isn’t like you.”

I felt a pit in my stomach forming of nausea hearing the name. “How could I do this, everything I ruined” I rubbed my eyes hoping this was all a dream.

“Chill Kook, it’s not like she’s still with Jackson. You’re single you’re allowed to kiss who ever you want, it’s just not like you.” Jin let out his famous windshield wiper laugh patting me on the back.

“I only want one person… what are they going to think when they found out about me and Chaeyoung?”

“I don’t know but you better tell them quick before they find out from someone else” 

“Who else was there” I felt like I was close to tears. Hoseok wasn’t as close to you, maybe I had a chance to explain. If I hadn’t already lost you to Jackson, this sure would do it.  
“Hmm, maybe Jimin and Yoongi?” Jin contemplated, puckering his big lips. 

I jumped up hearing Jimin’s name “I have to go!” You and Jimin had a habit of walking to school together, maybe you could make it to your apartment before Jimin did. I grabbed a shirt and pants and flew past Jin, putting toast in the toaster while trying to get ready.

“Kook, what’s gotten into you, your class doesn’t start for another hour”

“Early studying!” I yelled before jumping out the door. I walked the back to your apartment, I was practically running when I noticed Yoongi sitting on a rock.

“Kook!” Yoongi yelled, it was the loudest I’d every heard him speak “Realize you messed up? Hooking with the person that ruined your loves last relationship, not cool.”

“How do you know everything” I was mentally exhausted and for some reason Yoongi was pissing me off.

“It’s in front of all of us, I’m just the only one who notices.” Yoongi sighs walking over to me. “I had to stop you before you went home with Chaeyoung last night. I’m sorry I didn’t stop it before it happened.”

I sighed frustrated grabbing at my hair “It’s my own responsibility, not yours, thank you for stopping me before it got worse. I need to get there before Jimin does.” I turned to leave but Yoongi stopped me.

“You’re too late, they went to class early today.”

I felt my knees go weak as I let myself fall to the ground, feeling tears well up in my eyes. “I lost.”

Yoongi sat down on the ground next to me, letting out a disbelieving chuckle “That’s what you and Namjoon just don’t understand, it’s not a competition.”

I looked up at him nodding and understanding. Yoongi continued, once he started talking, he couldn’t stop. “Think about why your friends, is it the end of the world if you can’t be in a relationship?”

I pondered, wiping the tears from my cheeks “You’re right, of course I want to stay friends. I just thought I was in love and now…I feel empty…. It will take time, but I think as long as they’re both happy, I can accept friendship.”

“Jungkook look at me.” I looked over at Yoongi’s serious eyes “I’m not saying give us, I’m just saying its not a competition. This is a person who has feelings and there’s a reason your friends. As their friend, you need to tell them how you feel, regardless of if they reject you or not. It’s not fair for either of you, one person thinks they’re just friends while the other person is always in a state of blind hope. I’ve been trying to explain this to Jimin too, but he never listens.”

“Why who does Jimin love?” Jungkook tilted his head at Yoongi.

“You all are idiots, this is why I’m never dating anyone.”

“You can’t be alone forever” Jungkook grumbled “You’re lecturing me, but what about you, you never tell people how you feel.”

“Do as I say, not as I do” Yoongi patted my back once more before standing up “Now go profess your love and ask for forgiveness for your mistakes before it actually is too late.”  
…..  
End of Jungkook’s point of view  
…..

You smile despite crying all night from Jungkook walking out and open the door for Jimin who does not look happy either.

“Boy do I have gossip to share with you.”

“If its about Jackson, I already know he’s after me” 

“No, its not about that- wait how did you know about that?” Jimin gives you a perplexed look

“Rumors spread” You mumbled, not in the mood to mention Jungkook “Wait you knew and didn’t tell me!”

“Nevermind me, are you going to say yes or what? Because I’ve got better options for you.” Jimin piped poking your side cutely.

“I honestly don’t know, I thought I had moved on, but maybe it’s time for me to give him a chance, I won’t find love any other way…” you mumbled

“That’s crazy! There are a ton of other people who want you, don’t just say yes to Jackson if you’re not feeling it. Either way, I’ll support you.” He gave you a hug ruffling your hair.

“Hey, don’t mess up my hair!” you whined “I’ll see what Jackson has to say and decide from there. I don’t want to get hurt again, but I guess I miss him.”

“Get hurt? Weren’t you the one that broke up with him to focus on school?” Jimin eyed you carefully

“Uhh, yeah!” your quickly changed the subject before Jimin could interrogate you further “Anyway what was the other thing you wanted to tell me about?”

“Oh right! I went out last night with Hoe-seok and Yoongs and guess who was there!” His voice was sounding more and more angry.

“Jisoo?” You asked, trying to think of the crowd that usually went out on a Monday night. 

“Well yes, but not who I was talking about! Jungkook!” Jimin let out a frustrated sigh

So that was he went last night you thought, finding yourself getting upset as well. “Wait, why are you mad though, wouldn’t you want to see him?”

“Well I would if it wasn’t for Chaeyoung’s tongue down his throat.”

Your stopped abruptly on your walk, feeling something crawling up your throat and finding yourself unable to breath. You ran to the nearest bush and allowed yourself to vomit right into it. 

“The thought of him kissing isn’t that gross” Jimin chuckled “You’d have to see him kissing me soon enough”

“Sorry, bad breakfast...” You mumbled wanting to run back home and crawl into bed. 

“I had the same thing you had” He put the back of his hand on your forward “You’re burning up and sweaty” he crinkled his nose wiping his hand on your sweater “I think you’re getting sick. Do you want me to walk you back home?”

“I have homework due” you grumbled, finding your schoolwork more important than your mental state. You weren’t sure if you wanted to know the answer to your next question. “Did they leave the bar together?”

“Nah, Yoongi stopped them before anything happened and Jin picked Jungkook up right after” Jimin said casually. You sighed in relief slowly coming to terms with the information. You and Jungkook weren’t together, you weren’t, he wasn’t yours, you couldn’t be mad at him for kissing someone else. Did it have to be Chaeyoung? You thought, feeling your heart break further. I guess he was just using me.

You walked into your class sat next to Jin who gave you a polite nod. “Are you excited about your date with Namjoon?” he whispered.

“What? I’m not going on a date with Namjoon.” This day was getting weirder and weirder.

“You might want to clear that up with him, he thinks you’re going on a date this weekend.”

You sighed and collected your friends’ homework to turn in. If you were going to get through this day, you needed to focus on your school work.

Your classes end without any sight of Jungkook and any conversation with Namjoon. For once you are happy to go to work, having something you can focus on. 

“Hey Lisa” you wave to your friend who gives you a big smile and hug   
“You should have come out last night!” Lisa sighed “Drunk you is so cute”

“Next time” you mumble, walking over to serve the next customer. You can tell that Lisa has gotten the hint that you do not want to hear about her night, already knowing what she’s going to tell you. The next few hours go by quickly, your mind filled and focused on coffee.

You walk back behind the counter and feel a presence ready to order “What can I get for you?” You look up to see Jackson, giving you a shy smile.

“A minute to speak? You should have a break, soon right?” 

“You remember my schedule” you weren’t smiling.

“How could I forget? Remember when I used to visit and sneak you donuts from that shop you like?”

You sigh and nod “I’ll find you during my break, cappuccino?” You ask, remembering his usual order. He gives you a quick nod and finds a place by the window.

Lisa gives you a knowing nod and you take a seat across from Jackson, placing his cappuccino in front of him. He takes a sip and rests his hands over yours “I’m sure you already know why I’m here, gossip travels fast.

You look out the window to see Jungkook staring at the two of you with dark eyes. You look away at the clock, remembering how Jungkook usually visited you around this time. You looked back out the window to see no one there. “Uhh, yeah I heard a few rumors” you mumble taking your hands away from Jacksons.

“I miss you, I shouldn’t have been with Chaeyoung, I should have been with you.”

“You just realized this now?” you said coldly, with everything going on, you had no patience for Jackson. You found it easier to reject him than you realized. 

“I know it took me a long time, but I still love you” His voice broke which made your heart ache. “I know you still love me.”

“I-I don’t know how I feel. You hurt me, you broke my heart when you cheated.”

He gulped hearing the words out of your mouth “I’ve changed, I would never leave you for anyone again. You broke up with me without even giving me a chance to explain myself…”

“Ok fine, explain”

This took Jackson aback, unprepared to actually explain himself “Well to be honest I was always kind of insecure in our relationship…”  
“Why? I gave you everything” you looked away from him, not wanting him to see the tears welling in your eyes. 

“You were so much closer to your friends than me, there were things you told Jungkook and Jimin that you wouldn’t tell me. You always wanted to hang out with them and not with me. It felt like I was losing you to Jungkook every second I saw you doing something a couple would do. I think I cheated because I wanted you to know how it felt.”

“So instead of telling me you wanted to hang out more, you let your insecurities get the best of you and cheated on me? You had no reason to think I was interested in my friends romantically, I just wanted you. Of course I wanted to see my friends, but that didn’t mean I didn’t want to see you” this was frustrating for you, all the questions you had finally answered, but the answers weren’t to your satisfaction. “I felt terrible after I found out, thinking I wasn’t good enough to be alive…”

“I’m sorry” he reached out for your hands again, but you pulled back “I was stupid and didn’t realize what I had right in front of me. I miss your beautiful smile and your quirky laugh and your morning cuddles” You could see the tears trailing down your cheeks.

You let out your own choke of tears. “Please don’t cry, you know I break down too when you cry.”

“I’ve missed you so much”

“Why didn’t you fight for me earlier? Why now?”

“We’re seniors, when else am I going to be able to see you after this year. It used to be enough to just see in the hall, it feels like this is my last chance to get you back.”

“You and Chae broke up, why?” the fear that it was because of you made you feel guilty

“I told her I needed a break, to access my feelings for you. We didn’t really break up with any closure.” You sighed hearing the answer “What do you say? Take me back?”

“Can I think about it? It took me a while to get over you and I’m a bit confused right now.” He nodded “Ok my break is over, I’ll let you know ok?”

“Well, I’ll be waiting for your call”


	11. Liar

You clean your last table and put away the last pot of coffee. “Ready to lock up Lisa?”

She was looking intently from her phone back to you with a curious look “I didn’t know you and Kook were dating…”

“What? We’re not dating.” You give her a disbelieving laugh and continue cleaning the counter.

“Um, you might want to take a look at this” She hands you her phone and you zoom into a picture on it. The sight makes your vision blur and stomach churn. You recognize the picture as you and Jungkook kissing at a café right after finals. It was something risky you both had done thinking that no one you knew was around. “This isn’t me” you lie handing the phone back to Lisa.

“Umm, you might want to swipe through” She does so anyway for you and sure enough, it is clearly you and Jungkook, laughing and kissing multiple times in the café. “why did you lie”

“This wasn’t supposed to get out” you panic taking the phone from Lisa and trying to see who sent her the photo. The message is from an unknown number with the message above reading ‘exposed’

  
“Hey hey it’s ok, we all knew you were going to get together anyway, I’m just a little upset you hid it.” Lisa pouted sadly

“We weren’t in a relationship, we were just… messing around…” You felt tears well up in your eyes for the third time today. “Who else knows”

Lisa shrugs “I’m not sure, I just got it now, looks like it was sent an hour ago.”

“I need my phone!” You scramble behind the counter to the jacket that’s hung up on a hook. Your phone was already vibrating like crazy and you looked at the messages that were coming in.

**Jiminie <3**

WTF! I thought we were friends! You listened to me talk about Jungkook for months! Bitch don’t talk to me again

**Tae Tae **

Going after friends ex? Hoe.

You felt yourself sob and Lisa wrapped her arms around you, leaning her head on your shoulder “Its going to be okay.” You continued to read the messaged pouring in.

**Unknown**

Exposed bitch

**Sleepy Yoons**

I hate to say I told you so, but I told you so

**Ex- don’t answer**

You lied, there was totally something going on with you and Jungkook! Trying to tell me I had no reason to be insecure pft

**Joonie B-)**

I thought you liked me… I guess our date is canceled

**Princess Jinnie**

You better not have been fucking on my couch!

**Jennie**

How could you do that Tae, you should have told him first

You scrolled down further, surprised to see some positive responses

**Hoe-seok**

Right on! You got muscle boyyyy ;-)

**Jisoo**

Happy for you!

The last message you read seemed to hurt you more than the others

**Bunny boy**

Don’t worry, I’ll tell everyone we’re not dating, and it was a one-time kiss. Hope this didn’t ruin you and Jackson.

Lisa hugged you tighter, reading over your shoulder “It will blow over. Jungkook will look bad because he already kissed Chae last night, they’ll just think he’s being a fuckboy.”

“I don’t want him to look bad” you looked over to Lisa, your optimistic and never judgmental friend, knowing she will support you no matter how honest you are “I think I love him.”

“Oh…oh! We’ll figure this out ok? Does he know?” you shake your head sadly, sobbing further into your apron. “Maybe you should tell him? Then you can get through it together?”

“He doesn’t love me. He was just using me to sleep with me, he even kissed Chaeyoung after I told him I would get back with Jackson.”

“Well why did you say that?”

“I was upset because he was just trying to get with me before someone else did.”

“You’re an idiot” Lisa sighed letting you go. You grab onto her arm, wanting her hug back “Sorry I don’t hug idiots”

You pout wiping the tears with your apron “Come on, help me, what do I do”

“This is your mess, you need to clean it up.” With that, Lisa walks out the door.

You walk slowly back to your apartment, hoping the pain of the cold air distracts you from how your heart felt. Your phone kept buzzing, but you turned it off and ignored all the messages. You walk past your apartment towards the back trails which lead to Jungkook’s. It’s dark and the overshadowing trees surrounding give your scenery an earie feeling. The further you walk deeper into the woods, the more you feel uneasy, hearing an hour and hissing of some sort of animal nearby. You take a look at your surroundings, almost pitch black, your eyes still adjusting. Nothing looks familiar, you must have walked down an unfamiliar path without realizing it. The sound of voices and footsteps startles you and you hide behind a bush. _This is where I die._

Once you think you lost all hope of not getting murdered, the mysterious voice is recognized as none other than, Yoongi. You are about to step out from your bush when you hear another familiar voice, Jungkook.

Yoongi plops down on a rock nearby. “Why couldn’t we talk at your apartment, or maybe even mine.”

“Jin won’t leave me alone with all of his questions. He keeps pointing to things and asking me if I had sex there. And Jimin will surely tell others what we talk about.” You hear Jungkook’s voice get louder and slowly sink further behind the bush.

“Ok ok, sit down, let’s talk” Yoongi’s voice sounds bored. “I honestly don’t know why you’re so upset, now you don’t have to keep it a secret.”

“Everyone thinks I go around and kiss everyone now.” He mumbles “I never wanted to kiss anyone except for-“

“Yeah yeah we all know who you’re in love with” Yoongi says boredly. You find yourself wanting to make a sound but continue to hold your breath_. Is it me? Or is it someone else?_

“What do I do? Everyone’s mad at me now, saying I’m messing with girl’s feelings”

“Well you are, you haven’t been honest with anyone.” You cringe at Yoongi’s bluntness, not wanting Jungkook to get hurt. “You wanted my opinion, but I gave it to you earlier today, be honest.”

Jungkook sinks down further into the ground “I guess I’m just scared of rejection. I already ruined my friendship with my best friend, I don’t want to make it worse by confessing that I love them.” You gasped slightly cursing to yourself when it was louder than expected. “What was that? An animal?”

Yoongi laughs “Yeah it’s an animal for sure. Listen, you should go back home and get some sleep. Clear things up tomorrow.”

Jungkook nods and walks back down the path towards his house. Once he’s out of site, Yoongi looks straight at the bush “You can come out now”

You huff and wipe the dirt off your jeans, stepping around the bush “How did you know I was here?”

“I didn’t, I was kind of hoping it was a murderer” you roll your eyes at his response “Now that you know how Jungkook feels, are you both ready to finally just be together?”

You find yourself shaking from the overwhelming emotions that filled your day “I-I don’t know, it might be best if we just don’t speak anymore…I think I’ll lose my friends if I’m with him. They’re already mad, I can maybe get them to forgive me if I tell them that we’re nothing.”

Yoongi’s eyes show deep disappointment “They’re mad because you lied, so you’re going to lie even more?”

“W-well when you put it that way it does sound bad. I just need some time to think. With everything with Jackson too-“

“Jackson? The ass who cheated on you? You’re going to take him back?” Yoongi scoffs making you very defensive

“How did you know? How do you just know everything? And who are you to say who I date? He said he’s changed…”

“I know everything because I just notice everything, Jackson and Chaeyoung just happening to date like they’ve been dating for a month a week after you broke up?” He scoffs again “You looking like you’re about to cry every two seconds? You’re too nice, if I were you, I would have brought that fucker down”

“Language” you mumble, the cursing towards Jackson starting to make you feel anxious. You were losing control quickly, control over your relationship with your friends, your relationship with Jungkook, and how you wanted people to perceive you and Jackson after you broke up. “I’ve been lying about everything. I’m a liar Yoongi!” it felt like you were yourself were tearing apart. You itched at your skin anxiously and breathed heavily.

“Hey hey its okay” Yoongi gave you a nervous look “Sit down with me”

“No, no, no, I need to get out of here. I’ve been lying to everyone, I don’t deserve to be here anymore” You took off sprinting down a path you were unsure of.

“Be where! Wait! Don’t leave! Where are you going… Fu….” His voice trails off the more you run deeper in the woods.

You stop when your out of breath, unable to cry anymore from all the tears you’ve shed throughout the day. Your surroundings were completely unfamiliar, filled with a faint sound of howling and the rustling of leaves. You shivered realizing just how cold the late winter air was._ I deserve this._ You cynically, slumping yourself further into the snow. You turned on your phone seeing a mass of messages pop up.

**Jimin**

Wimp, why don’t you answer me?

FYI I’m not meeting you tomorrow.

**Sleepy Yoons**

Where did you go? Are you ok?

Don’t do anything crazy, people care about you

Hey, are you even seeing these?

Come back, I won’t lecture you anymore

Please?

Are you ok?

If you die out there, I will bring you back, and kill you, then bring you back again, and kill you again

Hello!

Please don’t die out there…

That’s it, I’m calling Jungkook!

You panic seeing the last message sent and quickly text Yoongi back

Me

No don’t! I’m alive! Don’t tell Jungkook, he’s already going through enough, I’m home already

**Sleepy Yoons**

Fine fine fine, you better not be lying about being home… Everything seems bad now, but it will get better

You slump against a rock, wrapping your coat tight around your chest and sticking one hand in the pocket. You scroll further down your messages, who could have exposed you? You opened the message that made you the most curious.

**Unknown**

Exposed Bitch

**Me**

Who are you?

Why did you do this?

**Unknown**

You’re a liar, everyone deserves to know what you did!

**Me**

Aren’t you a liar too, why don’t you be honest with about who you are?

**Unknown**

It doesn’t matter who I am, everyone knows how much of a hoe you are.

Die Hoe

You slump down against your rock, wishing it was your bed. You checked the weather on your weather app seeing it was above freezing_. At least I won’t freeze to death, maybe hypothermia though…_ Your toes were already losing feeling and you found yourself hugging you legs tighter to your body. _Unknown is right, maybe it’s better if I do die… _These types of thoughts hadn’t crossed your mind since Jackson first broke your heart. You looked at the clock on your phone; 8 O’clock, it would only get darker so there way no point in trying to find your way home. The feeling of overwhelming exhaustion took over you and you put up your hood, leaning your head against the rock. In that moment, all you wanted was sleep, and you let yourself fall asleep, regardless of the risk of hypothermia. One thought crossed your mind before you were taken over by sleep; you were a liar.


	12. Come Back

You wake up to a bright light shining in your face. There is no feeling throughout the rest of your body. _This is it, I actually died... _Something keeps tapping your face, then there is a loud and painful slap across your face.

“Wake up!” you groan, your joints too stiff and cold to move “Hey hey, wake up you’re scaring me”

The voice continues and the light wavers. You blink your eyes open to see a headlamp being waved in front if your face. “Sorry for slapping you, but you really wouldn’t wake up”

“Where am I? Am I dead? Is this purgatory? I definitely didn’t go to heaven…Am I a ghost? Is this why I can’t feel anything?” You start to panic, wanting to thrash, but your limbs not allowing you to. You blink at the figure in front of you “Hoseok? Did you die too? I didn’t want you to die”

“No one’s dead” he gave you a nervous laugh “why are you asleep in the woods?”

The information began to sink in as your body slowly woke up “Uhh, I got lost and I guess I fell asleep, why can’t I feel anything”

“You’re cold, let me take you home…maybe even the hospital” He gives you a nervous look, slowly helping you up and onto his back. You feel guilty with how heavy you are with your winter clothes, but too frozen to complain about being carried

“What are you doing here?” You rest your cold cheeks on his warm sweaty shoulders

“I was on a run” Hoseok sighed “Yoongi texted me saying he wanted to go for a run here, I thought it was the weirdest thing, Yoongi never runs, ya know? So I agreed and waited at the entrance. When I got there, Yoongi texted saying he wasn’t coming but I should go for a run anyway since I was already there.”

You nod understanding. Yoongi knew everything. He knew you didn’t go home and sent Hoseok after you because he was one of the only people that wouldn’t be mad at you. “Thank you Yoongi” you mumbled under your breath.

“Huh?”

“Oh oh nothing, thanks you carrying me Hobi, I think I would have died if you hadn’t woken me up.”

Hoseok gives you another nervous smile, how much had Yoongi told him?

The walk isn’t long and Hoseok places you in the passenger seat of his car. He gets in himself, turning the hot air all the way up. He hands you a hat and gloves from his back seat. He gives you an awkward smile and starts to drive away.

“What did Yoongi tell you…” you trail off and slowly hold your stiff hands in front of the heater.

“Well he said he you ran into the woods and he was pretty sure you were going to kill yourself” He talks a little too quickly and you can tell he’s scared you might try again. “He threatened me saying that if I didn’t find you he was going to-“ He shakes the thought away, with Yoongi’s threats, there’s no telling how scared Hoseok was. ”Well I found you so we can both live now.”  


“Sorry I spooked you, I won’t try again…I don’t even know if I was trying then… I think I just got lost and accepted my fate.” You let out a dark chuckle which caused a distasteful look from Hoseok. “Should I start calling you my… heroseok.”

The pun made Hoseok give you a genuine laugh which made you smile for the first time today “You’re worse than Jin, at least his puns make sense.”

“Ouch, if the cold didn’t kill me, your insults will” You regretted your dark joke the minute you said it, Hoseok’s smile fell and his brows furrowed

“I was seriously scared because of you! And so was Yoongi! I’ve never seen Yoongi so upset! Don’t make jokes like that…” You heard his voice break, the sensitive side of Hoseok was something you forgot about always seeing his sunny personality.

“I’m sorry…” you mumbled, finally feeling your fingers begin to move “How can I make you feel better?”

“You try to kill yourself and you’re trying to make me feel better! You’re unbelievable you know that? He scoffs and pulls into his driveway, but you don’t move.

“Hey Hoseok, promise you won’t tell anyone okay? I won’t try again, almost losing my life made me realize that I don’t want to.”

“Okay okay, come on let’s get you inside, Namjoon and Taehyung won’t be home for another hour and you can hide in my room.” You nodded and followed Hoseok inside. He hands you a towel and some of his sweats and ushers you into the bathroom, running an extremely hot bath for you. You have never appreciated Hoseok more than you did now, he truly was beyond kindness.

The bath leaves you feeling warm again and you walk out of his bathroom that’s connected to his room to see Yoongi sitting in Hoseok’s desk chair. Hoseok rushes over to you with a few blankets and wraps them tightly around you so that you can barely move again. You sit on his bed and give Yoongi a nervous smile, he does not smile back, but glares at you. Hoseok looks between the two of you and nervously sits next to you on his bed.

“You have some explaining to do” Yoongi’s voice comes out as a growl

“I got lost, I didn’t mean it, sorry?” his gaze burns into your soul and no matter how much you, Yoongi doesn’t let you look away. You sniffle slightly from the cold that already formed in your immune system.

Hoseok jumps in, attempting to break the tension. “Hey hey you’re alive and warm now and that’s all that matters.’

“No, I want answers.” He cuts Hoseok off quickly “Why did you do this”

You sigh, leaning your head on Hoseok, more for moral support, than actual head support. “I guess I just, lost control, I needed to be in control of something” Both nod in understanding “Nothing seems like it’s going to be okay anymore… and then when I actually did get lost, I read my texts again and felt worse.”

Hoseok rubs your blanket covered back “What did those texts say, is this about that whole Jungkook thing?”

“Well a lot were about how I was a bad friend… a lot of ‘hoe’ and ‘bitch’ and ‘liar’” you trailed off with a nervous laugh “they’re not wrong… then I tried to figure out who sent those photos, and they told me to die…so I thought, maybe they’re… not wrong.” You sniffled but this time from the tears that were welling up in your eyes. You looked over to Yoongi to see that he was crying too, and so was Hoseok.

“You shouldn’t…” Hoseok sniffled between his words “You shouldn’t… have to think like that…They’re the ones that are wrong… not you” he hugged you tightly, now sobbing your head. “What you and Jungkook do is your business, you don’t have to tell anyone….” He sniffled more and you could feel your hair getting wetter and wetter “You’re not a hoe, you’re not a liar, you’re not a bitch, you did nothing wrong.”

“I’m sorry” Yoongi sobbed making his way next to you and hugging you. You’ve never seen Yoongi cry and the sight broke your heart. “I-I shouldn’t have been so harsh with you and Jungkook”

You hugged both their sobbing selves, crying yourself “Please don’t cry, I’m okay alright? This is my fight, not yours, please don’t cry… Yoongi you were right to be harsh with us, we were stupid…”

“Ya you were stupid” he lightly slapped your arm, still crying “I thought I lost you, you know I love you as a friend, right? You’re always the nicest to me and you tell other people to let me sleep… who was going to keep people away from me if you weren’t here? And what would I have told Jungkook, huh!” His voice grows mentioning Jungkook “Have you seen the boy? Mr. muscle Kook would snap me in half in a second!”

“Its okay its okay, I’m okay, Jungkook won’t kill you, you don’t have to threaten Hoseok anymore.” You somehow find yourself soothing both Hoseok and Yoongi who are lying down across your lap. Even though your legs are losing feeling, you don’t push them off them they fall asleep, tears making the sweatpants you’re wearing slightly damp. You lean back on Hoseok’s bed and let yourself fall into a deep, warm sleep.

You woke up to Yoongi cuddling on one side and Hoseok cuddling on the other side. You sit up pick up your phone. No new messages. You sigh, disappointed in yourself for wanting a positive message from someone. You peak out the door to see Namjoon and Taehyung eating breakfast on the couch, the sight making you quickly retreat back into the safety of Hoseok’s room. You write a nice thank you note and leave it on the bed between Yoongi and Hoseok. You open the window and just as you’re about to climb through, Yoongi’s voice stops you.

“Leaving so soon?” He yawns stretching his arms

“Joon and Tae are out there…” you mumble. He nods in understanding “Hey before I go, do you know who sent that text message to everyone?”

He sighs and nods “Yeah I do, but I don’t think knowing will help you right now.”

You pout and crinkle your nose “Please? I have a right to know…”

“Chaeyoung” you nod almost expecting the name. With Jackson contemplating his feelings for both of you, it was almost obvious that is was chaeyoung. You salute to Yoongi before jumping out the window and slowly closing it so you don’t wake up Hoseok.

The walk home takes longer than expected, the apartment farther than you remembered and your attempts at hiding from everyone making you have to hide behind bushes at moments. When you get to your apartment, you notice Jimin is at the front door, impatiently knocking.

“Uh oh” you mutter quickly running around to the back of the building and jumping through a window into your room. You make a note to start to lock your window and begin to contemplate how your way of leaving and entering homes has been via window lately. The attire you are wearing will surely cause questions from Jimin so you panic and crawl into your bed, hoping Jimin will leave soon. You needed to come clean, but you weren’t ready yet, with everything that happened yesterday, you needed a day to yourself. You waited patiently for Jimin to leave, thankful you locked your front door for once.

“I know you’re in there! You can’t avoid me forever!” Jimin let a frustrated grunt “Fine ignore your best friend, if we are still friends.”

You pulled out your phone and saw all the texts Jimin sent you, from ‘I hate you’ to ‘traitor’ to ‘we’re no longer friends’ to ‘we need to talk’ to a whole other mess of swears. He needed to calm down before the two of you could talk. You sent him a quick text.

**Me**

Sorry just woke up, I need time to myself

You heard the knocks and shouts stop abruptly and the shuffling of feet getting further and further away. You let out a sigh of relief and cuddle further in your bed, thankful to be alive and warm.

A few hours pass and you allow yourself to find peace with the quiet of your apartment. You hear knocks at the door again “Hey I know you’re in there…” Jungkook “I know I shouldn’t bother you anymore since you’re with Jackson… but are you ok? Jin said you didn’t come to class and I got a little worried…” His voice keeps trailing off. He wiggles the door knob which is usually unlocked, but he is unable to open it, maybe for the first time since you had been friends. You let out a breath that you didn’t know you were holding in and jump up from your bed. You run over to the door and open it to find no one there. “Jungkook…come back…”


	13. What?

It had been a week since you had gone to school. Yoongi and Hoseok had assured you that everyone believed your flu story which was partially true from the nasty fever you got from well, the sleeping in the cold. The only people that talked to you this week were Yoongi and Hoseok; Yoongi had threatened everyone to leave you to your bed ridden self so you could process your emotions and mental trauma.

During these this week you had watched all the Halloween Town movies, finished your homework for the next month, beat Luigi’s mansion, and even knitted three scarves. You felt productive, but your apartment and hygiene said otherwise, not cleaning or showering making you look like you were a hermit living in a rundown shack. You pulled another slice of a pizza from a box and threw the box on the other stack of boxes in the corner. At this point, you had fully recovered from your fever, but you weren’t sure if you were mentally recovered yet. You turned up the music while you danced in your living room with the pizza in your mouth. There was no self-pity if you couldn’t hear your thoughts. Loud knocks were barely heard over the music, but you trying to listen.

“It’s Lisa! I brought you some tea from the coffee shop” You grumbled and reluctantly opened the door, knowing Lisa was as crazy as you and would go through the window. “Oh my gosh what died in here!” She looked you up and down with disgust “Oh I guess it was you” Her nose crinkled as she swatted some dirty underwear to find a place to sit on the couch and reached for the remote to turn the music down. “How have you been feeling? I know Yoongi told us all to leave you alone, but I couldn’t help it! My little cutie was sick, and I couldn’t be there to help you! Also, I took all your shifts so you owe me big time”

You giggled at her cheerfulness, immediately brightening up your mood “I feel better actually!” You sniffled a little “My fever is basically gone, and I got so much done! I’m kind of bored though to be honest.”

“If you’re bored, you should go clean your apartment” She mumbled under her breath, but you still heard her.

“I was sick” you said dramatically “I couldn’t clean when I could barely lift my frail ill arms”

“Didn’t you just say that you got work done? Rumor has it you even finished the project due next month.”

“Okay okay, maybe I wasn’t dying from the plague like Yoongi told you all. I just needed a mental break from everything, and then I got this cold at the same time. I thought, what better to do than not go to school and not confront anyone that’s mad at me” you shrugged playfully trying to ease Lisa’s serious eyes.

“You’re going to have to talk to them eventually, you’re lucky you’re sick and we’re all scared of Yoongi or else someone would have killed you”

“Well I almost did that to myself…” you mumbled

“What did you say?”

“Nothing” You laughed nervously before plopping yourself on the couch next to her, not caring that you were on a pile of dirty laundry. “You’re supposed to be my supportive friend, support me” you whined grabbing at her arm.

“Don’t touch me with those filthy paws” She swatted away at you “I’ll help you clean because I’m a good friend and I know everyone else is being mean to you” You gave her a loving smile and hugged her through her struggles to be free of your stench, laying one pizza covered kiss on her cheek “Gross! I just did my make up! Now get up and shower, I’ll take care of your trash.”

You felt refreshed getting out of the shower and dressed in some of the only clean clothes you owned at the moment. When you walked out, the apartment was almost spotless “Woah, how did you do that?”

“I figured the faster I cleaned, the faster it would smell better, I was wrong” She pinched her nose in disgust “You just have your laundry left which I’ll leave to you. When are you coming back to school?”

You sighed at the question you were avoiding all week “Tomorrow, I can’t avoid it forever huh?” You laughed trying to make Lisa smile, it seemed you were almost back to your bubbly and energetic self.

“No you can’t, and you can’t avoid people either, they may be mad now but they’ll get over it.” She reached for the door and waved goodbye to you “I need to get back to my class, those stocks aren’t going to invest themselves! Too-da-loo!”

The smile on your face grew thinking of Lisa, Yoongi, and Hoseok, people you never considered yourself the closest with, but still helped you in some of your darkest times. You quickly finished cleaning the rest of your apartment, lighting multiple candles in an attempt to rid of the smell. Another knock on your door interrupted you and you couldn’t help but feel confused obout the amount of people visiting you today. Besides Yoongi and Hoseok, everyone had completely ignored you for the past week upon Yoongi’s request and you knew not many were ones to defy Yoongi. You opened the door to see Jin, the last person you expected to visit you. “Uh Jin, what are you doing here?”

“I made you soup! I know you’re soup-er excited to see me” He laughed at his joke and invited himself in, setting the pot of soup on oven to warm up. “How are you feeling?”

“Better actually, I think I’m ready to go back to school-“ two more figures walked through the door, this time you expected them as they visited you everyday “I really need to lock that door more.”

Hoseok left the door open behind him and gave you and Jin a sunny smile. Upon the sight of Jin, Yoongi did not look please “What are you doing here, didn’t I tell you to not to come by here”

Jin put his hands up as if to surrender “I come in piece and baring soup” He pointed to the pot. “Soup is harmless, you wouldn’t hurt a guy who was just delivering soup would you?”

“It’s okay Yoongi, he can stay” You gave Yoongi a pleading smile, your boredom was starting to get the best of you and you were desperate for social interaction.

“Okay he can stay, but if that soup so much as burns your tongue, he’s out of here” Yoongi slumps on the couch and Jin gives you a scared look before sitting next to Yoongi and Hoseok “I see you’ve cleaned” Yoongi mumbles

“Yeah Lisa came by and-“ you stop yourself realizing you mentioned Lisa

“Does no one listen to me anymore? Am I not scary anymore?”

Hoseok pinches Yoongi’s cheek “Everyone just thinks you’re a cute cuddly kitten now” Yoongi lets out a hiss which makes Hoseok inch himself away.

“Thanks for looking out for me Yoongi, but I’m ready now, I’ll go back to school.” You scoop out soup inot four bowls and pass them out to your friends.

“You just had a fever, right?” Jin laughs awkwardly “Why are they acting like you almost died?”

“Really bad cold” You assure him patting his shoulder “Nothing to worry about, I’m okay now.”

Yoongi blows on his soup “So Jin, now that we have you here, how’s Jungkook?”

You give Yoongi a glare for asking such a blunt question “I’m sure Jin didn’t come here to talk about his roommate!” You frantically tried to change the subject “Jin! This soup is, soup-erb”

Jin let out a high-pitched laugh and high fived you. You look over at Yoongi and Hoseok, one not smiling at all, the other giving you a sad pity smile for your terrible joke. Yoongi was the first to speak after the awkward silence following your even more awkward joke “So Jin, tell us all about your roommate.”

Jin shrugged “Well he’s fine I guess, I haven’t really seen him much. All he does now a days is wake up, go to class, go to the gym for a few hours, then shut himself in his room saying he needs to finish some projects.”

“I have seen him at the gym a lot lately” Hoseok mumbled “I try to say hi, but I think he’s so focused he doesn’t even realize I’m there.”

“I could call him to come over if you want-“ Jin pulls out his pink phone, but you are quicker, swatting his phone right into his soup “Hey! What was that for”

“Sorry… hand spasm” you mumble, grabbing his phone from the soup, attempting dry it off with your shirt before its damaged.

“I can call him!” Hoseok chimes in also pulling out his phone. You tackle Hoseok quickly grabbing his phone and running away to hide it in your room.

“No one is calling Jungkook!” You yell, your eyes looking a wild darker and more intense dark color.

“Already texted him, he’s on his way” Yoongi gave you evil smile.

In that moment, you looked like a lion ready to pounce on an antelope, which was in this case, Yoongi. “What? Why would you do that!”

“You’re not sick anymore and your apartment is clean, its time you talk to him.” Yoongi let out what sounds like a demonic chuckle. You huff away from him, returning Jin and Hoseok’s phones.

Jin glances between you and Yoongi awkwardly, feeling as though he is missing a key part of the conversation. “What’s the big deal, you and Kook hang out all the time. So what, you kissed once, right? You’re still friends, right?”

“You live with the idiot and you can’t see he’s in love!” Yoongi lets out a disbelieving scoff.

Jin smiles shyly, his eyes anxiously looking from Yoongi to the door “Well... uh… this is awkward… um I’ll see you around… enjoy the soup! Feel better!”

“Finally, he’s gone!”

“Yoongi! Why did you call Kook! I’m not ready to talk to him…” you pout and make yourself comfortable next to the safety that is Hoseok.

“Nevermind Kook, what are we going to do about Chaeyoung” Hoseok chimed in.

“Let me deal with her” Yoongi gave another evil smile

“No no, you are not going to deal with her, I will. She messed with me, I will take care of it!” you rubbed your temples, feeling the cold symptoms resurfacing.

“You’re too nice” Hoseok’s nose crinkles as he sticks his tongue out at you “Your way of dealing with her will be to give her hugs and chocolate”

Yoongi laughs along with Hoseok “Yeah, I can see it now ‘Oh chaeyoung! You did nothing wrong! Here, take all my savings and all my boyfriends! Here, take Jungkook as a sorry for our pathetic ex-boyfriend’“ A pillow hits his face quickly causing him to stop.

“Don’t talk about Jackson that way! People are… complicated… I won’t let her get away with this, but I don’t want her to feel worse than she already does with the whole Jackson thing.” You give them both a puppy dog look causing Hoseok to hug you from your cuteness and Yoongi to roll his eyes.

“Aww your so cute, now I see why Kookie loves you, you’re both so cute! Kookie and Cutie!” Hoseok gushes over his new nickname for the both of you. You swat Hoseok away from you, getting annoyed at hearing that Jungkook loves you from everyone else, except him.

“I doubt he loves me still” you sigh “I ignored him for a week and told him that I was getting back with Jackson.”

“That’s why you need to talk to everyone. No one know who you want to be with.” You smile at Yoongi’s bluntness, he had been so careful with his words after the incident and you were happy he was comfortable with you again.

“I know, I will talk to everyone one at a time, I just didn’t want that first person to be Kook!”

“He needs to be the first person you talk to. You know how you feel right?” You closed your eyes and nodded at Yoongi’s question. “And how do you feel?”

You’re not sure why you take the time to think because you already know the answer to his question, you’ve known for the past month how you felt and it was time you admitted it, more to yourself than to Yoongi and Hoseok “I love Jungkook”

You opened your eyes to see Jungkook standing, mouth wide open in the doorway “What?”


	14. Jimin!

“My work here is done. Well look at the time, Hobi, let’s go. Thanks for the soup!” Yoongi and Hoseok left quickly, pushing Jungkook into the doorway and closing the door on the way out.

“Man, I really got to start closing and locking that door” you mumble to yourself, picking up empty soup bowls on the coffee table.

“What did you say?” Jungkook was inching towards you as you were backing further away.

“I need to lock my door?” You said hoping he didn’t hear your accidental confession.

“You know that’s not what I’m talking about” He gave you a playful smirk. He was faster than you, if you moved an inch, he moved two. You kept moving back until your back hit a hard wall. He put his hands onto the wall, blocking your escape. He slowly leaned down, so his lips were almost to yours and you leaned forward, wanting nothing but to kiss him. He turned his head before you could kiss him, brushing his lips against your ear whispering “Answer me”

You gulped at the contact you had longed for and quickly sunk down against the wall, crawling through the small space between him and the wall in an attempt to get free, but he was quicker, already grabbing your wrist and hovering over your body. You felt small in his presence, his week of only working out making him buffer than usual. “I want to hear you say it again.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about” you tried playing dumb, but he wasn’t buying it. You tried leaning away from him but finding the floor behind you now instead of the wall. He positioned himself over you, now ensuring there would be no escape route capable, with his legs wrapping over yours and leaning closer and closer to your face, you yelped in surprise seeing him act this dominating.

“Say it” He inched his face down as if to kiss but pulled away when you were about to give in. “I want to hear you say it” he whispered before leaning down brushing his lips on your neck. The action made you shiver and your body wanting him more and more. He was teasing you until you cracked, and you hated to admit that it was working. You felt his hands just barely touching you, making you want him even more. You let out a frustrated whimper and noticed his eyes get darker, filled with lust. “3 little words, 8 letters, is it really so hard to say?” he caressed his thumb gently across your stomach, playing with the hem of your shirt. He knelt in closer, letting his lips glide across your chin until they were getting closer and closer to your lips. 

You could smell his cologne, musk and masculine. Your neck reached forward, eager to feel your lips melt together but he was too quick, pulling away with a smirk. “Ok ok fine!” you belted out, letting a heavy breath escape you, your heart pounding so loudly you could feel it through your chest “I love you” with those words escaping your mouth, Jungkook attacked you, kissing all over your neck passionately, grabbing at the end of your shirt and finally making it to your lips. It felt magnetic when you kissed, like you were made to be stuck together and only force would pull you apart. 

He lifted you up off the ground and laid you down on the couch, already taking off his sweatshirt. You quickly did the same with yours, just wanting him closer to you. “I love you” he said between kisses “I love you so much” You kissed him deeper, your heart felt like it was growing hearing him say those words that you feared would never leave his mouth. He tugs at your pants and you slip them off with ease. He’s about to the same with your pants when you stop him abruptly.

“Shhh” you lay your hand on his bare chest to keep him from kissing you. You both listen carefully and just as you suspected, there’s a quiet pitter patter of feet approaching your apartment.

The panic sets in looking at both you an Jungkook’s states, him just in sweatpants and you just in your undergarments. 

“It’s just your neighbor” He starts to kiss your neck more, but you stop him.

The sound seems to be approaching your door, louder and louder. You quickly scramble to grab your sweatshirt and throw Jungkook’s at his face.

“Calm down, it’s probably just your neighbor” He reassures, trying to keep you from putting on clothes.

There is a second set of steps that make the other one’s scurry quickly.

“Jimin!”


	15. What was Yoongi talking about?

“Jimin! I told you not to come around here!” you recognize the voice as Yoongi’s and give Jungkook a panicked look. He quickly slips on his sweatshirt and you the same with your clothes.

“Your neck! It’s covered in hickeys” he whispers, throwing your hood over your head and tightening the draw strings so that it snuggly shows just the front of your face “You look so cute” he smiles at his creation and you hit his chest, trying to loosen the strings.

“I’m going in anyway! You can’t stop me!” Jimin wiggles the doorknob and Jungkook quickly jumps behind the couch.

Jimin barges in, seeing you watching TV with a blanket over yourself that you found on your armchair.

“Hello?” you croak, trying to pretend to be sick, you let out a pathetic cough.

Yoongi trails behind you, giving you an ‘I’m sorry’ look and casually looking around the room for Jungkook. You mouth ‘he left’ for Yoongi when Jimin isn’t looking.

“Ignore me for a week huh?” Jimin strides over to you “Kiss my crush huh?”

Yoongi puts his hand on Jimin’s shoulder “Can’t you see how sick they are?” you cough in response.

“What’s with this new hood look too?” he flicks your hood strings in disgust “you look ridiculous”

“S-so c-cold” you shiver wrapping up in your blanket more. The action works and Jimin gives you a sympathetic look, backing away from you to not catch your ‘sickness.’

“Woah, uh, I guess you really were sick… I thought you were just ignoring me because of the whole Jungkook thing…” he trails off awkwardly. 

“Come on Jimin, rest is the most important thing for a cold, and we are prohibiting that by being here” Yoongi grabs at Jimin’s wrist, but he doesn’t budge.

“You’re still not forgiven, and why does Yoongi know so much about your flu or whatever while the rest of us don’t even hear from you!” He rubs his temples to keep his voice from growing. Yoongi grabs at Jimin again in an attempt to get him to leave. He breaks away from Yoongi’s grip and turns on him now.

“You! You didn’t give a shit about everyone around you and the minute I’m mad at my friend you jump in and take their side! What about me? Why weren’t you there for me? I was hurting too…”

You jump up, pulling Yoongi towards you “Leave him alone, he just happened to be there when I got… sick.”

Jimin calms down seeing your frail form. “I just wish you came to me instead” his voice croaks but he suppresses his tears “I know I’m still mad at you, but I didn’t know Yoongi and you were even close. Are you kissing him too?”

“No! He just..kinda got stuck with me?” You laugh nervously and Yoongi gives you a glare “Uh Jimin? Can we talk tomorrow? I’ll tell you everything and then you can decide whether or not you hate me…”

He softens hearing the last part and gives you a nod “I’m still very mad you, but I’ll hear you out. Now get some rest”

“I’ll meet you at that apartment Jimin” Yoongi sighs and stares angrily over at you, “I just need to have a word with the person I’m stuck with”

Jimin doesn’t argue with Yoongi’s strong attitude shift and leaves quickly. 

“Well that wasn’t so bad” you laugh nervously looking around your apartment for Jungkook who’s no longer behind the couch “What the?”

“I’m stuck with you?” Yoongi doesn’t let you off easy “What kind of bull is that, I thought we were friends”

“We are, you’ve just been extra nice to me lately” You wander around your apartment “I know its not what you want to be doing”

“I’m nice to you because I gained an appreciation for your friendship” he groans and looks at you like you’re crazy “I’m not just nice to you because you tried to-“

“Shhhhhh” you run over to Yoongi covering his mouth and looking around the apartment for Jungkook.

He pops out of the pantry “What did you try to do?” he looks nervously from Yoongi to you.

“What? How?” your jaw drops at the sight of him “How did you even get in there without any of us noticing…”

Yoongi shoves your hand off his mouth “You didn’t tell him? Haven’t you kids learned anything from this whole experience! Be honest with each other!”

“We were… uhhh… busy with other things…” you trail off and Yoongi pulls down your hood, exposing a neck full of hickeys. He pulls the hood back tightly on your neck to scold you, but Jungkook runs over shoving Yoongi off gently and pulling you into a hug.

“Don’t hurt my cutie” he kisses your forehead and you smile up at him.

Yoongi sighs defeated at trying to make sense of the situation and strides over to the door. “Talk to each other before I tell him what happened” he threatens and quickly leaves.

You smile nervously over at Jungkook and attempt to walk away from him, but he grabs your wrist.

“What is Yoongi talking about” he says seriously “I think we should start listening to him and talk”

You pout and pull him to the couch to sit down. “Okay we can talk, what would you like for dinner?”

“Hmmm maybe some lamb skewers?” You smile as he’s fallen right into your trap, the gullible little bunny so easy to distract. He gives you a mischievous look and kisses you on the cheek. “You can’t fool me that easily, tell me what Yoongi was talking about.”

You avert your eyes and attempt to turn the tables on him “we can talk about Chaeyoung” you raise your eyebrows at him and wait for his response.

“Uhh, how about we order lamb skewers” he blushes and scoots away from you.

“Not even going to apologize? Jerk” he swat at his chest and shrink to the other side of the couch.

“That might have been the biggest mistake of my life” He sighs and closes his eyes, tears slowly forming “I-I was upset which isn’t an excuse, and I went to the bar, and I may have drunk a little too much…”

“You know when you saw me and Jackson in the window?” he nods and you continue “He told me he wanted me back and he cheated on me to get back at me; to make me feel hurt… did you do the same?”

His eyes grow wide and he take your hands in his “No! I would never! I was hurt and I honestly didn’t even know I was kissing her until the next day!”

You purse your lips and close your eyes “I think subconsciously you wanted to hurt me… because I hurt you… I had no intention of getting back with Jackson, I just said that to hurt you.”

He lets go of your hands and gives you a defensive look “W-why would you want to hurt me?”

“I felt rejected by you, like the only reason you were sleeping with me was so that you could before Jackson asked for me back. I felt…used” you look away from him, feeling worse than before.

“I didn’t even know about Jackson until after we-“ he stops himself and closes his eyes “I admit that I was using our friends with benefits deal to get closer to you. I guess I always kind of hoped you would want to date me.”

You smile and inch yourself closer into him “I wanted to date you too, I just didn’t want to hurt anyone, I thought this would be the best way”

He hugs you tightly “We both did, its all over now though.”

You look up at him sadly “No its not, think about all the people that we upset because of this. Jimin really likes you Jungkook, and Tae was really upset that people were flirting with you.”

He chuckles slightly and kisses your forehead “It doesn’t matter who wants me silly, what about what I want?” he ruffles your hair “I want you cutie, only you.”

“I feel like I’m being selfish” you try to push away the dark thoughts starting to form.

“It doesn’t matter if we’re not together, I’m not getting back with Taehyung and I’m not interested in Jimin as more than a friend. You’re the one I’m in love with.” He kisses your forehead and you sink further into him “Jimin and Taehyung will forgive you.”

“What about Namjoon? I accidently agreed to a date with him! And I told Jackson I would consider dating him. And then there’s Chaeyoung…. Honestly I think she’s the one who’s hurt the most out of this”

“You’re worrying too much, Namjoon and Jackson will understand, as for Chaeyoung…she’s someone I need to be apologizing to” He scratches the back of his head “I may have been hanging out with her for the past week.”

You look up at him and inch yourself away “What?” he tries to take hold of your hands, but you push him away “You’ve been going on dates with Chaeyoung?”

“It’s not like that-“

“She’s the reason I lost my first relationship and you’re okay with just dating her? You don’t see me trying to date Tae” you could feel your pent-up anger unleashing.

“I-I was hurt, please don’t let this get in between us, we love each other, right?” his voice was pleading, begging to have you back with him.

“This has just been a lot” you look away from him “It’s all been overwhelming” you feel yourself start to panic more and all you want his Yoongi’s and Hoseok’s presence who seem to have mastered calming you down.

“I know everything’s bad, but we can get through this together” his voice broke and you were sick of being the one to make him cry “please?”

You close your eyes trying to push away the thoughts that wouldn’t subside. How could you be with Jungkook in your fragile state? He didn’t deserve this, he deserved better with how much love he’s given you. 

“I keep making you sad” you felt empty looking over at the tears streaming down his face.

“Don’t think about me, don’t think about anyone else, what you want to do?”

“C-can I just have some time to process all this?” he nods at your request and gives you some space.

“I’ll give you space, but before I go you need to be honest with, what was Yoongi talking about before?”


	16. Don't mess it up

“Nothing!” you say a little too quickly, jumping up from the couch. He grabs onto your wrist, begging you to be the ear that listens. “I mean you know Yoongi, he says a lot weird stuff, probably…high or something...”

Jungkook gives you a questioning look, clearly not believing anything you are saying. He sighs and stands up as well, and pushing his fingers against the bridge of his nose. “Why can’t you trust me?” he lets go of your wrist and starts to make his way to the door “All I want is to be with you and for you to trust me, but I don’t know if that’s what you want”

It’s you grabbing onto Jungkook now, seeing the frustration growing on his face more and more. “J-just give me some time, t-this has all been a lot for me-“

His jaw clenches and his hands ball up into fists. “And you think this hasn’t been a lot for me either! I don't know what you want!” His sudden snap startles you “I’ve been waiting for you for two years!” He breathes slowly, calming himself down. “I’ve been waiting for you for two years... I was so close to finally having you…”

“I’m not some object that belongs to you!” You shout back “I’m a person, with feelings! A person who has basically lost their friends because of you!”

“Because of me?” He turns back to you, making you back away with how angry he looks “You think this is all because of me? I’m not the one who suggested we hook up! I’m not the one who wanted to have a heart to heart that night!” You close your mouth quickly, realizing that he was right “If you don’t want me in your life, fine! I’ll stay out of it!” He makes his way out of the door, slamming it shut as he leaves. 

The tears come quick when the door shuts. The panic engulfs your form immediately, causing your shaking body to struggle to breath. You slide down against the wall and let hold of your small frail shaking form. You dial the first person on your call history. 

“Hi Hi!” A sunny voice pipes through the phone. “How’s the Kookie?” You whimper in response “What’s wrong?” You continue to sob through the phone, unable to make out a word “Ah you know I hate hearing you cry cutie, I’m coming over.”

Yoongi and Hoseok come quick, bearing bags of chips and horror movies. You explain everything that happened in tears and Yoongi smacks the back of your head. “Ow!”

“Idiot!” Yoongi groans and Hoseok pulls you into a hug, giving Yoongi a shaming look “Well, I’m right, I told you to tell him the truth and look what happened. You both are too immature to be in relationships." he huffs and you give him a hurt offended glare.

“I don’t want him to worry about me more than he already has.” You lean against comforting Hoseok’s comforting form. “I just keep messing everything up with everyone.”

Yoongi pokes your side with his foot from his place on the armchair “Not everyone, we’re still here.”

“Yeah and-“ Hoseok screams suddenly as a monster flashes across your TV and hides behind you. You pat his back and giggle at his form. “I was going to say I’m here for you, but it seems you’re here for me”

“Thank you both! I wish we got to be better friends before”

“It’s okay, we’re friends now” Hoseok gives you a huge smile, his eyes crinkling. “So what are you going to do about Kook”

“I think he’s better off without me” you say casually, grabbing at the bag of chips. Yoongi kicks the chips away, causing them to fall on the ground going everywhere “Hey! My chips!”

“You’ll get your chips when you come to your senses” Yoongi groans “You both are being so stubborn”

Your lips purse and you drown out Yoongi’s grumbles to the sound of the bloodbath on your TV scream, completely unaffected by the genre while Hoseok whimpers behind you. 

"Didn't you just say we shouldn't be in a relationship?" You cross your arms over your chest "I'm starting to think that you're right, neither of us should be dating anyone."

"So now you listen to me" Yoongi scoffs "Now that you're listening to me, take this one last bit of advice. Decide if you want to date him before you talk to him again. I know this has sucked for you, but how can he trust you if you're unclear with what you want? No one wants to be strung along like you both have been doing to each other." you stare intently at Yoongi, absorbing everything he's saying for once "Sit down, over food because it will calm both of you down, talk to him, no shouting, just talk." he sighs and you urge him to continue "If it ends with you two shouting and ignoring each other again, it's not a healthy relationship to keep, drop his ass"

The last bit makes your heart sting and you can feel tears brimming in your eyes "I don't want to lose him, even if it's just as a friend"

"This is not a healthy friendship" Yoongi says bluntly with a shrug "Now that can be easily fixed with communication..."

Hoseok hugs you more, trying to comfort you "I know Yoongles is being harsh, but he's right, you and Jungkook can't be happy together if you aren't clear with him. Gee I hope he takes out his anger soon," Hoseok shudders and gives you a nervous laugh "Last time he was angry we were almost pelted with soccer balls." You laugh along with Hoseok and are thankful that you never joined their soccer league.

……

“Good morning!” Hoseok chimes, slapping pancakes down on a plate for you. You rub the sleep out of your eyes and smile at the cheerful figures-well figure, Yoongi wasn’t the happiest to be awoken, even if it was by food. 

“Big day” He mumbles with a yawn

“We should take a picture! It’s like our child’s first day of school!” Hoseok kisses you on the cheek while Yoongi smacks the back of your head lightly. “Don’t mess it up.”


	17. I want your light back

One step. One step and your week long ‘vacation’ from life is over. 

“You going in or are you going to block the doorway for everyone” a deep soothing voice says behind you boredly, causing you to jump.

“Oh uh Namjoon…” you stutter and blush as he walks past you in the classroom. This was your chance. Your opportunity to finally put your friendships back into place. He gives you a confused glance when you sit down right next to him, leaning yourself away from him so you don’t give him the wrong idea. 

“Feeling better?” He asks. You’re not sure if he is being polite or sarcastic with his question.

“Yeah, thanks for asking…” You glance around, you two are the first ones in the classroom “So uh, I have to apologize?”

He scoffs and you raise your eyebrows at how he’s not his usual charming polite self. “Don’t you think it’s a bit too late to apologize. I really liked you and I thought you liked me too. And then you disappear?”

You marvel at his brutal honesty, eyes wide “I’m sorry. If I’m being honest, I had no clue you liked me.”

He gives you a disbelieving look “Really? I doubt that”

“I’m not as smart as everyone says” you joke, nudging his arm “I honestly didn’t know, when you asked me to dinner, I thought we were just going as friends. But you’re right, I shouldn’t have led you on though.”

He nods and gives you a polite smile “I’m assuming you’re not interested at all?”

You scrunch your lips and shake your head “I think we make better friends.”

He laughs and gives you a soft smile “All we talk about is school huh?” you nod in response

“Yeah, we really are school obsessed together.” The room slowly fills with more people as the class gets closer to starting “Friends?”

“Yeah friends, I always did think you and Jungkook would end up together anyway.” You go to deny him but are stopped by Jin and Jimin walking in. Jin sits down next to you and Jimin sits next to Namjoon, completely ignoring you.

You lean into Jin “How’s Kook?”

He ruffles your hair “I haven’t seen him, he didn’t come home last night, I thought he was with you.”

You gulp and bite your lip, thinking the worst that he ran to Chaeyoung. 

……  
Jungkook  
……

I slammed the door behind me and let myself fall against the wall outside your apartment, letting the tears fall shamelessly. Your tears could be heard through your door which only made me cry more. I hugged my knees and let my chin rest against them as my sobbing subsided into soft whimpers.

“Kookie?” Hoseok knelt next to me patting my head. Yoongi stared down at me with a disgusted look.

“What did do?” his voice is more aggressive than usual. What happened between Yoongi and you to make him like this? I could feel the jealousy starting to trickle up my skin. Why could you be so honest with Yoongi and not me? I was kinder, friendlier, more approachable, we’ve known each other for longer. It didn’t make sense.

“What happened Yoongi? What is no one telling me” The sentence barely makes it out of my mouth as a wipe my tears with the back of my hand.

Yoongi groans and closes his eyes “They didn’t tell you yet? Oh I’m going to kill them.”

“What? Don’t hurt the person I love!” I say defensively, desperately trying to get my connection to you back.

“Look Kook, it’s not for me to tell you. You’ll find out, I’ll make sure of it.” The last bit comes out as a threat and Hoseok rubs at Yoongi’s shoulders.

“Let’s not jump to killing people Yoons” He gives me a comforting smile “Kook we know you’re hurting too, but we need to go watch some horror movies. I don’t think it’s the best idea for you to be here.”

My tongue swirls itself against my cheek angrily. Horror movies were our thing, it always surprised me that a bubbly person like you could watch a terrifying movie and not bat an eye.

Yoongi’s eyes soften and he crouches down next to me “We know that you’re going through a lot, but you really can’t be hanging out here. You both need time to calm down. You’re like a rollercoaster! What happened to the lovey dovey gross couple I saw half an hour ago.”

“I’m really not sure one of us wants to be a couple” I say bitterly, bringing myself up off the ground. “I’ll go, please keep them happy, because I can’t” 

I leave before Hoseok has time to argue with me and make my way outside. The moon illuminated the long stretch of road as I slowly started walking, unsure of where I was going. A droplet landed on my cheek and I wasn’t sure if it was the rain or my tears. I cried though the wetness as it started to downpour, causing my clothes to be drenched, sticking to my cold body. My knees felt weak as a I slumped down onto the sidewalk.

Honk honk 

I looked up to see Jennie and Jisoo, their car pulled over next to me.

“Kook? What are you doing here?” Jisoo rolls down her window “Do you need a ride home?”

I wipe my face and fluff my damp har in front of my eyes “No, I’m just, sitting. I’m really not in the mood to go home just quite yet.”

“Are you okay?” She tilts her head towards me “Why don’t you hop in, we’ll take you to our place and fix you a glass of cocoa.”

I can hear Jennie batting at Jisoo, trying to get her to stop talking to me. “I’m sure Jungkook doesn’t want to come with us.”

“Actually, I will, thanks for the invite Jisoo.” Hot chocolate sounded perfect and Jennie was known for staying out of gossip. I jump into the back seat and Jennie rolls her eyes.

“There’s a towel in the trunk, don’t get my car wet.” She crinkles her nose and sends daggers through the rearview mirror. 

“Aye aye captain” I salute to Jennie and click the seat belt. 

…..  
“Here’s your cocoa Kook!” Jisoo cheerfully drops the mug down in front of me with a cheerful smile. I give her a thankful nod and she sits down across from me. Jennie plops down next to me and gives me a cunning gaze “So tell us Jungkook, what’s got you crying in the middle of the rain on the side of the road?”

I almost spit out my hot chocolate at Jennie’s bluntness. “Exams” I says shortly. “mmmhmm” she mumbles, clearly sarcastic. 

“Do you need a place to stay tonight? We have some of Taehyung’s stuff here when he stays over, you can change into that” Jisoo’s sweetness is a nice contract is Jennie’s sass. The offer was too good, would it be weird to wear Tae’s clothes? Yes. Did I care in this moment? No. A dry warm clean apartment. Interrogations that were offset by kindness. This all sounded too good to be true. I nod and give Jisoo a polite smile. 

“Ok Jungkook, we’ll let you stay here since your exams are so hard, but only one night.” Jennie whips away from me and retreats into her room.

“Don’t mind her, she’s just protective of Taehyung.” Jisoo wanders back into her room with one last ‘goodnight.’

………..

‘Thanks for letting me stay’ I left the note on their kitchen counter and make my way out of the Jennie and Jisoo’s apartment, determined to not abuse their kindness and leave before they wake up.

I rubbed the sleep out of my bag covered eyes, the events from yesterday leaving me restless all night. I felt exhausted; fighting for you draining all my energy. How could someone I see as bright yellow leave me feeling nothing but grey? The weather didn’t help my mood either, only clouded skies that greyed the snow on the ground. 

“Jungkook this looks amazing” my professor trailed behind me, inspecting my new drawing. I smudged the dark shadow figure further, leaving nothing but darkness on my fingers. “I love the contract you made with that dark figure and the white of the door opening. Any significance?”

I shifted uncomfortable in my seat, art always explained itself, why did I have to explain? “I think the door is hope for the figure”

“Try to give more contrast on the door frame” she critiques before moving onto the next student. “Alright class, for your homework, draw your sketches digitally and send them to me tomorrow. Class dismissed.”

“Jungkookie!” A voice stops me as I walk out my class. She brushes her hand across mine trying to grab at it but I slip it away from her

“Chae” I blush seeing her so close to me “We should talk”

“What’s wrong?” She looks up at me with her beautiful eyes, it could be easy to fall for her instead. 

I shake the thought away, trying to focus on who I really love. “We can’t be together anymore. You know I love-“

She shushes me, pushing her finger against my lips and inching her face closer. “Why do I always lose everyone I want to that bitch?” I pull her hands away from me and look away uncomfortably. 

“Don’t call them a bitch” I mutter and sigh out my anger, mentally too exhausted to fight. “I’m sorry that you got wrapped up into all of this, I should have never gotten with you.”

“Even sending those pictures couldn’t get me what I wanted” She bites her lip and I look at her with wide eyes, registering what she just told me. Anger consumes me and push against the locks “Oh Kookie, I didn’t know you could be so rough” her teasing eyes turn startled when I slam my fist against the locker.

“You sent the photos?” I closed my eyes, trying to contain my anger “That was not your secret to tell everyone. Do you know how much that hurt everyone?”

“Well you two were the ones that hurt people, I just let the truth out” she tries to walk away, but I grab at her wrist, attempting to cover my eyes as the tears start to fall.

“Are you-are you crying?” she gives me a disgusted look and pats my back “I-I’m sorry. I didn’t want to hurt you, just Jackson’s ex. I just wanted Jackson back and thought this was the easiest way.”

I wipe my tears with the back of my hand “Jealousy and deceit is not the way to get what you want…” it sets in how hypocritic I’ve become, hooking up with Chaeyoung just to make you upset. “We both did bad things, let’s just forgive and forget” I sweep my hands through my hair and play with the inside of my cheek with my tongue. 

“They’re not that special, why does everyone fall for them…” she pouts but I roll my eyes at her. “Jungkook? How do you know you’re in love?”

Why did I fall for you? Life would be so much easier if I didn’t… “I don’t know…” I sniffle and rub at my eye more “I still get nervous” I laugh at the thought, finding myself smiling thinking of you “I used to get so excited when I saw the cutie, they just brightened my mood up. They just have a way of making me feel great, but there’s only so much fighting you can do before it breaks you….”

Chaeyoung gives me sad eyes and pats my shoulders “You really are hurt, huh?” I nod and she looks down sadly “I’m sorry, I won’t bother you anymore.” she whispers again before running off.

My interaction with her leaves me dumbfounded. Why did I love you? When we were friends, you were like a crackling ember, steady and strong, bright and shining, comforting me with your warmth. But lately there’s been something different about you, almost like your fire’s been put out. How can I bring it back? I try, but you won’t let me in. “I want your light back.”


	18. Sometimes,lying is good

“Chemistry exam next week, homework due tomorrow, and try not to explode anything in lab” the professor looks directly at you with his last comment, recalling last semester when you mixed the strongest acid in the lab with the strongest base you could find. Namjoon gives you a friendly goodbye, making the black shell that has surrounded your heart crack. You smile at finally feeling like your ambitious self again; your walk even has an extra bounce to it like it used to. Jin laughs at your goofiness while you skip out the door, following Namjoon. Jimin rolls his eyes which makes you slump a little more.

“Jiminie!”

“Don’t call me that, we’re not friends” He mumbles, striding past you, but you don’t give up.

“Don’t run off so quickly! I told you I would talk to you yesterday. How about I buy you some coffee after class” You give him your cutest hopeful smile.

He sighs and cracks a smile himself “Only if you buy me dessert a well”

“Deal!” You spit in your hand and reach out to shake his, but he gives you a disgusted look before walking away.

“That went well” Jin gives you a high-pitched laugh and crinkles his nose as you wipe the spit onto your jeans. “You’re disgusting”

“Nothing wrong with a good old-fashioned spit handshake” you shrug and try to pat his cheek with your hand, but he runs away quickly

“Why do I always have to be on guard with you and JK” hearing the name makes you frown and Jin pats you on the back “I’m sure you two will make up, whether it’s as friends or not. I can talk to him if you’d like?”

“I don’t want to bring you into this mess, can you just be there for him though? I’ve been lucky with Yoongles and Hoe boi, but I don’t think he has anyone.” He nods and strides awkwardly away, trying to get to his class before he’s late. “Well, at least I got one friend back.” You run through your schedule of classes in your head, you still had computer science, linear algebra, and quantum physics, but those weren’t until later in the day. One hour of break which meant one hour of rebuilding your next friendship.

**Me**

Jackson, let’s talk right now

**Ex (Don’t contact)**

I’m in class, have you decided on what we talked about? I’ll forgive the Jungkook thing if you’ll take me back

**Me**

Yeah I did, we’ll talk about it in person

**Ex (Don’t contact)**

Don’t bother if you don’t want me back

You gulp and scowl at your phone, pressing the keyboard aggressively. How dare he only want to talk to you if you were in a relationship with him? Weren’t there such thing as friendly exes?

**Me**

Fine.

I’ll reject you over text.

You cheated on me, because you were insecure.

You made me hate myself.

Even after you did something terrible,

I still did everything for you,

So you wouldn’t be seen badly by your friends.

And you still didn’t apologize to me.

Now you’re treating Chaeyoung badly by dumping her for me.

You realized too late how great I was,

So no, I will not take you back.

**Ex (Don’t contact)**

Fine bitch, have fun fucking that man child

I knew you liked him all along

Now that someone finally wants you besides me you give me up?

**Me**

This has nothing to do with Jungkook so don’t bring him in this

This has to do with you, you’re an ass and I deserve better.

Whether its Jungkook or not, anyone is better than you.

You flip your hair screenshot the texts and block his number from your phone, no longer affected by his opinion of you. The screen shots get sent into a chat titled ‘Snowy Saviors.’

**Me**

Yoongles! Hobi-poo! Are you proud of me!

**Sleepy Yoons -_-**

They grow up so fast

**Hoe-seok**

He cheated on you? O.O

**Me**

Ahh! You weren’t supposed to know! I forgot!

Please don’t be mad at him!

**Sleepy Yoons -_-**

And you’re a child again -_-

Too nice.

Too naive.

**Hoe-seok**

I won’t be mad! :D

I’m proud of you though!

:D

:D

:D

You smile down at your texts and set sight on your next target.

Tae.

Tae was next. Walking into the art building would be dangerous though, the probability of seeing Jungkook increasing exponentially.

“Yoongi!” The small figure turning towards the art building was the perfect savior. “Help me find Tae, but help me avoid Jungkook’s classes.” You hook your arm around his and he rolls his eyes at you.

“Didn’t I tell you to face him? Also, nice job with Jackson”

“One person at a time….oh guess what!” I jump up and down next to Yoongi excitedly “Namjoon and I are cool again.” He smiles at you proudly and ruffles your hair.

“Look at you, you’re almost back to your old annoying energetic self, cutie” the nickname out of his mouth surprises you and turns your cheeks to a bright red “Okay you’ve earned it, I’ll help you. The fashion department is upstairs, graphic design is on the first floor and they’re classes should be getting out” He glances at his watch “Now.”

“Thank you!” you jump away from him and run up the stairs just as the hallways start to fill with students. A tall male with black hair and impeccable style, arms latched with a fierce brunet, catches your eye.

“Taehyung…” you grab onto his arm and Jennie gives you a dirty look. “Can we talk?”

He looks over to Jennie who nods and lets him go. “I’ll see you in class Tae”

He sits down on a bench and you sit cautiously next to him, grateful for his calm demeanor “So I uh ya know kissed your ex” you laugh uncomfortably and scratch the back of your head. He stays silent and you continue to fill the awkward silence “I’m sorry that I didn’t talk to you about what happened, I’m sorry it happened-“

“Are you sorry it happened?” he stares at you with his deep eyes, making you frown

“Uh, I’m sorry that I kept it from you. And I’m sorry I stopped talking to you for a week…” You wait, but Taehyung doesn’t speak “Say something, I really care about you as a friend.”

“Do you?” He mumbles “I don’t even care if you and Jungkook are together, I’m just hurt you felt like you had to hide it.”

You nod and hold back the tears “I know, I was selfish and a coward. I should have just told you that I liked Jungkook.”

“So you do like him?” he raises his eyebrows at you

You blush and shift uncomfortably “you could say I like him, maybe even love him…” you hope he doesn’t hear the last part.

“You love him?” He scoffs and looks away from you.

“I care more about our friendship than being with him.” You wipe the tears that start to well in your eyes.

“Don’t guilt me like that!” He pulls you into a hug “Friends don’t treat each other the way you treated me.”

“I’m sorry I hurt you, I was stupid”

“I understand why you tried to hide it, and I’m mostly over it now” You smile hopefully, but he does not return the smile “I don’t know if I can trust you anymore though.”

“What can I do to gain your trust back?” You proceed to start to him every detail of what you and Jungkook did, but he stops you.

“I don’t want to hear about it, that just makes me feel worse” You give him an apologetic look and he smiles slightly “You’re too cute, I can’t stay mad at you for long.”

“So we’re still friends?”

He sighs and frowns “Give me some time, but we can work on it.” You hug him tightly, grateful for how understanding he is “Please don’t decide who you date on me. It’s okay if you want to date Jungkook.”

You look away sadly, releasing yourself from his warmth “I don’t know if we’ll date, it’s a bit… complicated” he raises his eyebrow at you, and you continue “I think I’ve seen him storm out more than I’ve talked to him” you laugh sadistically to yourself.

“He can be…passionate…sometimes” Taehyung reassures you “The key is to be open with him and he’ll do the same with you.”

“I know, some things are just hard to talk about” You bite the bottom of your lip and Taehyung pulls you into a hug, the scent of his Gucci perfume engulfing you. “Thanks for being understanding, I know I shouldn’t have disappeared for a week, I just needed time to avoid those things that are hard to talk about.”

“I promise I’ll try, I do care about you and want you happy.” He glances at his leather strapped watch “Oh! I have class!” He gets up and you give him one last hug “I’ll see you around, good luck with Jungkook.”

Taehyung was kind, gentle, understanding. He deserved the best and you did not give him the friendship he warranted. Could you make yourself a better friend for him? You were going to try. _Oh I have class! _You curse to yourself seeing you would be late.

The backdoor to the computer room at your school seemed all too perfect for sneaking into your coding class. You tiptoed your way to your computer next to Namjoon who gives you a polite smile.

“Ah look who’s finally back, enjoy your vacation?” This particular professor was not as understanding as your others had been, almost refusing to take your project that was due because you weren’t in class. “Do you have your homework, or did you take a vacation from that too?”

“I turned in my homework a few days ago, I have the project done that’s due at the end of the week if you would like that?” Namjoon taps your shoulder, warning you to suppress your sass.

The professor seems flustered by your remarks, but is eager to gain the power over the class “Well since if seems like the class is finishing work early, why don’t I give you all more work.” The class grumbles in response and you get multiple dirty looks from your classmates “Everyone code the project that’s due on Friday in Python as well as C++”

“Way to go” a student next to you says sarcastically behind you “Not everyone can finish coding like you, you screwed everyone over.” Another throws a pencil eraser at your head and Namjoon nudges you to do something.

“Professor?” You pipe up “Since I disrespected you, I will do the extra project. Don’t punish the class because of me”

“Too late” he shrugs “Now stop disrupting my class!”

The rest of the day thwarts your previous good mood from talking to Namjoon and Taehyung. With all the engineering majors being in similar classes, your classmates don’t seem to leave you alone. In linear algebra, someone ‘accidently’ spills water on your notebook while in physics you receive multiple notes reading things like ‘nerd’ ‘bitch’ ‘we hate you’ ‘die.’

“I’ll be right back” the teacher announces, leaving the class alone while he grabs supplies for a physics experiment.

You turn towards the class behind you from your place in the front row “Are you all in middle school or something?” A few scoff, but you continue with your passionate speech, quieting the side conversations of the whole class “No one hated me when I showed them how to do the assignments! No one complained when you all cheated off me and I didn’t tell the teacher! You hate me now because I try to stick up for myself! The code’s not even going to be that different!” Namjoon grabs your arm, blushing and pulling you back down into your seat. A few roll your eyes and others try not to look at you. The teacher walks back in with a confused glance feeling the tension in the room.

“I think you got your point across” Namjoon whispers and you cross your arms angrily “Next time someone cheats off me, I’m reporting their ass” you huff and continue listening through the boring lecture, purposely asking and answering every question to annoy the class further. Were you being petty? Yes. Did you care? No.

Karma seemed to bite back at you as the professor called you to stay after class, causing other students in your class to smirk and laugh at you.

“Is there a problem Professor Park?” if there was one thing you were good at, it was looking cute and innocent. You look up at him with large eyes and a slight pout.

“Cut the crap” he crosses his arms over his chest and leans back against the podium “you were quite vocal in class today, you need to give other students a chance to answer and ask questions.”

“I know, I was mad at them” you sneer causing the professor to raise his eyebrows at you. “I’ll let others answer questions, can I go now?”

“Is there something bothering you? You weren’t here all week and now you won’t stop talking”

“No” you lie, crumpling the notes in your pocket

He sighs, clearly not believing you “You’re smart, but you need to get along with your peers to be successful.”

“Sometimes your peers aren’t good people” you crinkle your nose thinking about all the events in the past month. You bite the side of your lip and speak quietly “I guess I’m not a good person either.”

“You’ll tell me if anything or anyone is bothering you right? Your peers seemed more hostile towards you than usual today”

“Yes I will” you lie again, averting your eyes from him “We weren’t hostile, don’t worry. May I leave now? I have to get to work” another lie, again. He nods and you scurry out of the classroom.

You hated lying, in fact, you were terrible at lying. Lying had been something you were trying to fix about yourself, but how could you tell your professor about the bullying? It would only make it worse, right?

Was it an attempt to justify yourself or the actual truth? You weren’t sure, but there was one thing leaving your mind when you left opportunity to speak up against your peers. _Sometimes, lying is good_


	19. I'll tell you everything!

**Jiminie </3**

Can’t make it to coffee

You frown at the text and grab the large bottle of cheap wine from the top of your fridge. The swig you take directly from the bottle is bitter, but you don’t care, finding yourself chugging half bottle immediately. You jump onto your couch, turning up the music and allowing yourself to feel the dizziness that overtakes you.

“Bang Bang bang!” you shout with the music, making finger guns with one hand and taking another sip of wine from the bottle with the other. Your tipsy state quickly turns drunken as you find yourself almost finishing the entire bottle. The knocks at your door are barely heard as you jump from furniture to furniture, playing a game of ‘the floor is lava with yourself’ while dancing to your favorite songs “Like ooh-ahh! Ohh-ahh!” The urge to dance on your coffee table is too strong. “Don’t think about it twice!” you sing and make the leap from your armchair to the coffee table. Unfortunately, your slippery socks had another plan. One step on the coffee table and your feet slip under you, causing you to fall face first into the wood.

“What the heck are you doing!” Jimin trudges into your apartment, quickly turning off the music and grabbing tissues for your bloody nose.

“I was dancing!” You pouted “Why diidd you turn off the musiiccc” You giggle at the sight of the blood on your hands “Why am I red? Do I change colors? I’m a charmeleoon”

“Why are you drunk on a weekday!” He wipes off your hands and holds a tissue to your nose, tilting your head back.

You drunkenly tap his little nose and giggle “I’m not drunk, I’m just happy”

“What am I going to do with you” he cradles you, holding you in place as you try to wiggle free from his grasp “Stop moving, you’ll bleed more”

“I like being red!” you pout “it reminds me of when Jimin dyed his hair red! That looks so cool!” Your eyes widen realizing who you’re talking to “Jiminie! I love you!”

“Who doesn’t love me” he giggles

“I love you, but I don’t love me” you poke the corner of your lips and form them into a frown. “I’ve been a bad friend, and Jimin’s supposed to be my beesssssttt friend”

“Yes I am supposed to be your best friend, so start acting like one” he tries to push your touchy self off of him, but you continue pinching his cheeks.

“I miissss you” You grab onto his ankles when he tries to get up and leave “Dooonn’t leave me, I miss my best friend.”

“I thought Yoongi was your best friend” he says bitterly

“I can have more than one best friend” you raise up your pointer finger lazily, trying to show him the number one, but your drunken state was not wanting you to move.

“That contradicts the word ‘best’” he sighs “Why am I even arguing with you, you’re drunk, by yourself, on a weekday.”

“Don’t judge my bad life decibsions”

“Decibsion…. Okay let’s get you to bed”

“Nooo!” you whine slapping him away as he tries to pick you up. “You said you would talk to me then you canceled”

“I had to finish up some work” he sighs “Well now you’ve made it impossible for me to talk you”

“No, I’m still co-hear-ent” you tap your ear and nudge him to laugh at your pun, but he doesn’t budge. You pull him onto the couch with you and he shifts uncomfortably “I’m a lil tipsy so I’ll be extra honest with you”

His big lips jut out in with his chin as he accepts that you won’t let him leave “Fine. Tell me everything.”

“Well” you sloppily pat his shoulder, as if you’re about to drop the biggest gossip of the neighborhood “It all started the night we were in that bar basement, and me and the bunny kissed on accident-“

“That long ago! You’ve kept this a secret for over a month!” you shush him drunkenly

“Shhh, you’re interrupting mah story” You continue, Jimin’s anger barely phasing your drunken state “We kissed, and I liked it!” you admit, dropping a fist to your leg powerfully “And then we kept kissing for a month”

“That’s it?” Jimin is baffled, giving you a look of bewilderment.

“No silly, you didn’t let me finish my story!” he waves for you to continue “I had a crush on him, but I thought he didn’t like me. Who would like this weirdo?” You point to yourself lazily “I suck? So we decided to stay frands with da benefits. I didn’t want to hurt Jiminie or Tae, but I really liked him so I was selfish and kept ‘kissing’ him” You nudge him as if to insinuate you did more than kiss “And then things got really complica- why do you gotta go and be so complicated!-“ you sing to yourself and finish your story “I was going to tell everyone how I felt and then the pictures, dey beat me to it. And then everyone hated me and Jungkook.”

“No one hated you!” Jimin’s eyes are wide “we were just mad that you weren’t honest and then you went MIA-“

“I was haviyng me time” you shush him, but he pushes you away “I was what Yoongi-poo called ‘suicidal.’” You recall the lecture Yoongi gave you last week highly encouraging you to take time for yourself.

Jimin shifts uncomfortably “I’m sorry I was so harsh on you, I didn’t know you were struggling so much and I didn’t know you liked Jungkook so much”

“I really like him, a little too much. But he’s better off with out me, he keeps getting mad when I’m with him” You yawn boredly, not realizing how much you were telling Jimin “He said it’s all my fault” you point to yourself and start giggling which quickly turn into tears. “He ssaid he loves me but life is compli-cated.”

“If you both love each other, you should be together” He runs his hands through his hair and he looks away from you, clearly struggling with letting Jungkook go.

“Won’t Jimin be mad at me?” You look up, clearly not recognizing who you were talking to.

He laughs and smiles down at your drunken state “Were you keeping it a secret because of me? You hurt me more by keeping it a secret. If you told me you liked him, I would have just made it a competition to get Jungkook.”

“Well I accidently got him, and then I lost him” you burp and hiccup

“Have you two talked?”

“Not since he said I suck” you sigh “And he was right, I was the reason we kissed and kept it going”

Jimin clenches his fists angrily and breathes out slowly, realizing him being mad at you with you in this state was useless “You don’t suck”

“Do you think Jiminie will be my soul friend again?” You look up at the blurry figure in front of you “Can you tell Jiminie I love him and I’m sorry”

“Yes, he will be your friend again” He sighs

“How do you know all this about Jiminie?” you stare at the person, bewildered

“I’m his manager” he giggles and you nod, accepting the lie

“Will he hate me if I try to date bunny boy?”

“No, he will get over Kookie if it makes you happy” He ruffles your hair and wipes more blood off your hands.

“Kookie makes me really happy, I miss my Kookie. I miss my Jiminie too” you hug Jimin and crash your body against his “Can you invite Jimin over? I miss his cheeks” you pinch his cheeks again “You have his cheeks too!”

The corner of your eye catches a glimpse of your phone on the corner of the coffee table and you lunge for it before Jimin can realize what you’re doing.

“Mr. Manager, we’re having a party!” You jump up and down on the couch excitedly “I invited everyone I know!”

“What?” he runs over to his coat to grab his phone and stares at the text he just received in a group chat titled ‘Soccer Crew plus a few’

**Cutie</3**

Psrty at my aperosatment! Hanf out wit mw! :D :D D: P;

**Roomie (Yoongi)**

?

**Scary Jen**

I’m so confused

**La-La-Lisa**

Party????

**Jisoo**

I want to partay!

**Hot boy Tae**

Don’t you mean par-tae?

**Jinnie**

Heheheheheh

Proud of you

**Namjoon**

I have homework, can’t make it

**Jung-cutie**

Busy.

You stare at your phone, unable to even read the texts “Manager, are people coming to my party? Jimin rapidly types on his phone “Everyone’s busy, no party for you!”

**Jimin**

No party! Someone had a lil too much wine and is drunk texting us

**Hobi**

Exposed hahahaha

“No one wants to come to my party?” you look close to tears, but Jimin pulls you into a hug

“They are planning a surprise party for you instead, shhhh don’t let them know I told you” you give him and ‘ohhh’ expression and drunkenly drop your head to his shoulder

“Why is it so hard to stay awake” you groan and he pats your head “Let’s get you to bed”

………

The headache that you wake up to almost makes you vomit. You groan and look around, completely unaware of how you got into your bed, the last thing you remembered was singing on a couch.

“Feeling better?” Jimin peers into your room and hands you a cup of coffee. You grumble in response and happily sip your coffee

“How did you get in my house?”

“You never lock your door” he giggles and pulls at your arm to get you out of your bed.

“What time is it, do we have class?”

“Yes, we do, now let’s get out of bed” You can tell he’s losing patience with you

“Jimin!” You jump up realizing who was taking care of you “You’re talking to me! What happened….”

He goes to speak but you stop him quickly “I’m so sorry-“

“I know”

“I messed up-“

“I know”

“I have to explain to you-“ He stops you, putting his hands on your shoulders to keep your shaking body still “You’ve already told me everything.” You look at him wide eyed “Everything?” he giggles and pulls your teary-eyed self into a hug “Yes, everything, you and Jungkook love each other, you feel sorry, you missed me, Jungkook’s mad at you, blah blah blah”

“You’re not mad?” you were shocked. Was this Jimin? The Jimin who crushed on Jungkook for years?

“Of course I’m mad! You love Jungkook and let me humiliate myself trying to go after him!” He shoves you and rolls his eyes “But we’re still friends and I’ll get over my feelings, but don’t keep things like that from me!”

You grab at his arm, gripping a little too tight “I won’t! I’ll tell you everything!”


	20. I love you

Jungkook’s point of view

……………..

_1 year ago_

………………

_Knock knock knock_

I walk into your apartment without waiting for you to get the door. The rather gray apartment looks duller than usual, as if it was barely used. It felt odd not seeing even a single dish in the sink or your usual array of blankets from your room scattered in the living room. You were a clean person, but not this clean. It was almost as if you barely lived here anymore.

“Hello?” I called. Your apartment was small, so it was easy to see that you were in the closed off bedroom. I knock on the door, but you don’t respond. The door slowly creaks open when I knock a second time and I peak my head in. There you were, under a massive pile of blankets, sleeping soundly. I quietly walked over to your form, my mind unsure if I should wake you or not. When I get closer to your face, I notice how red and puffy your eyes were, clearly from crying. I sigh at the sight, it had been a week since the break up with you and Jackson and I still didn’t understand why you put on such a strong persona.

I shake you gently “Hey, wake up, let’s go get you some dinner” you stir in your sleep but blink a few times seeing me in your home “Come on, I’ll buy you food”

“Food?” you whisper sleepily, yawning and stretching “I guess I shouldn’t sleep all day, give me 10 minutes to get ready”

I sit uncomfortably on your couch, not wanting to ruin the perfectly placed pillows and cushions. I sigh realizing that you were cleaning to distract yourself. How could this happen to you? I’ve known you for years and you were truly an amazing human. It wasn’t because of your looks; you would never have to buy yourself a drink if you went out. It wasn’t your personality that was extremely caring and kind. Jackson and you seemed like the perfect relationship, what could have gone wrong? My curiosity was taking over me, wanting to know more about your past relationship and how you were feeling “Uh- about Jackso-“

“Oh what about him? You don’t have to buy me food if its because of the breakup” you snap, clearly not wanting to talk about him.

I shift uncomfortably “No you bought last time so I’m making up for it”

You roll your eyes and grab your wallet from the kitchen “Whatever you say” you shrug pushing the subject away “You don’t need to worry about me, I broke up with- uh- I broke up with him because I needed to focus on school.”

I picked up on the faint shaking in your voice and decided to suppress my curiosity, it wasn’t worth you having to relive a terrible experience. Your breakup was something I just couldn’t wrap my head around. Wouldn’t you want everyone to know what a terrible thing he did to you? I clenched my fist and closed my eyes, trying to suppress my anger. Everyone would see him as a terrible person. _He is._

……………..

_9 months ago_

………………

We sat in the bed of Jin’s truck, enjoying the first warm night under the stars since the winter ended.

“Yah! stop throwing grapes at me!” Jin snapped at you, pelting a few back at your face as you giggle. “Don’t be all mad just because I beat you” he waves his portable game console in the air and you sulk down looking at yours.

“I don’t like losing” you mumble, wrapping yourself in a blanket more.

“I’ll be right back, I need to pee” Jin announces which makes me scoff and you let out a disgusted look. Before you can make fun of him, he jumps out of the bed of the truck and runs off awkwardly into the woods.

“I hope he gets attacked by a slightly rabid squirrel” you grumble harshly, clearly not over Jin beating you at a game you always won. You scooch over next to me and try to take a peak at my sketchbook, but I quickly pull it away “How can you draw in the dark? Don’t you want to play with us?”

I shrug and drop it slightly, allowing you to see the intricate landscape I was drawing “There’s plenty of moonlight, plus hearing you and Jin talk about your game is giving me inspiration.”

Your eyes light up immediately seeing the drawing and you snatch the book from me, appearing mystified. “This is beautiful… I didn’t know you could draw so well.”

I shrug off the compliment “You’re just being nice”

You quickly scooch yourself closer to me, too eager to validate my drawing skills “You’re amazing! Don’t deny it” you poke my cheek cutely “You mentioned inspiration… what were you inspired by?”

I bit my lip curiously, the question was simple, but it was weird hearing someone so genuinely interested in my art. “Uhh I-I guess just hearing what you both were saying about the scenery and characters of the game.”

“Do you want to do game design?” you tilt your head cutely, your eyes wide with curiosity

“Yeah actually, that’s my dream” I laugh awkwardly, this was a far-off dream, never something I thought I would actually accomplish. “I like video games and I like drawing so I guess it would be cool to draw characters….” My voice trails off awkwardly when you grip my arm tightly.

“You would be so good at that! Honestly I haven’t heard of a career that would fit you better!” You bounce in your spot and shift closer, so our shoulders are touching. I have never had anyone sound genuinely excited for me or support me in the way you were now, and I didn’t know how to act. “I never knew what you wanted to do Kook, but it all makes sense now.”

“It’s a tough industry to get into-“ you cut me off quickly

“You’ll make it, you’re talented and hard working. I know you’ll make it” you assure and go back to your corner in the truck bed. We both looked over to the sound of rustling as Jin ran back into the truck bed, already picking up his console to play another game.

I couldn’t focus on my drawing for the rest of the night, my mind confused by the empowered of being encouraged to follow my dreams. I looked over at you one time and tilted my head at your laughing figure. Why did it bother me that Jin was the one making you laugh and not me? Was this the night that made me look a little differently towards you?

……………..

_6 months ago_

_………………_

“Why do you always do that?” I ask giving you a curious look as you rub your wooden chopsticks together.

“I don’t want splinters” you roll your eyes and give me a ‘duh’ look. Your small form shakes in just a yellow T-shirt and shorts, clearly cold in the small Ramen shop.

“Why did you come in just a T-shirt, aren’t you freezing?” I hand you my jacket, but you refuse, too proud to accept you made a mistake.

“Why are you so judgmental today” you tease, crinkling your nose. A waiter drops our ramen bowls in front of us and I can’t but smile at how excited you are, clapping your hands and bouncing in your seat.

You slurp up your ramen quickly while simultaneously telling me a story about how you accidently challenged Hoseok to a dance battle.

“You’re going to lose” I laugh and push your chopsticks away from stealing the egg from my bowl “He’s been dancing for years”

“Shouldn’t you be supporting your best friend?” you continue to try to eat from my bowl, already finished with your own

“I am, I’m going to have to deal with you when you cry from losing” I tease playfully, trying to push you away with my chopsticks. The chopsticks drop from my hands when our hands brush slightly, you leave your hand there for a moment and give me a small smile. I snatch my hand away quickly, a small blush forming across my cheeks.

“Aww is the ramen too hot for you, you’re turning red” you joke and pick up your bowl and slurp up the extra broth. I try to look away from embarrassment, but my eyes always fail to release from your aura. I studied your features carefully, soft naturally tinted lips, perfectly messy hair that you tried so hard to push out of your eyes, your eyes that crinkled slightly when you smiled. I pushed the thoughts away when you looked up, was it normal to think about friends this way? Okay I admit it, maybe I did have a little crush on you. I blushed more when you smiled widely at me, your smile seeming to light up the tacky and cheap ramen shop we were in. I admit it, it was a big crush.

“You’re such a great friend Kook, thanks for taking me out on my birthday!” Friend. There was that word again. The word we used so often with each other that we eventually added a ‘best’ to it. I should be happy to have a best friend, was I selfish for wanting more from you?

“Oh! I uh- got you something else” I pulled a small wrapped package from my coat pocket. You shyly take it and carefully open the gift, even though the wrapping was terrible. You pull out a mustard yellow sweater. I watch cautiously, unsure if I got you something you liked. Your smile grows slowly into a huge grin and you quickly tear the tap and put it on right away. “You knew I would chilly today didn’t you” you tease cutely “I love it, thank you!”

_This was enough. _I reminded myself, happy to see that I could make you happy as a friend.

……………

_3 months ago_

…………….

I looked in the mirror, trying to flatten and control my longer hair. Why was I even trying? I usually just hung out in sweatpants and large t-shirts. Today, I was clad in a nicer red bomber jacket and a white t-shirt. If I was going to confess to you, I needed to show you I could be ‘boyfriend’ material.

“Ah Jungkookie, you’re looking good” Jin peers in my doorway while eating a bowl of soup “Also your best friend is here” You pop in the doorway as well, making me feel flustered and blush uncontrollably.

“Where are we going Kook?” You tilt your head curiously, looking down at your own t-shirt and jeans “Am I under dressed?”

You could be wearing anything, and I would think you looked adorable. “N-no, I’m just sick of wearing sweats” I rub the back of my neck shyly when you give me a curious look then shrug.

…..

“So where are we going” I ignore your question and continue driving through the back roads of the college town we lived in. I eventually pull onto the side of the road and jump out before you have time to ask more questions. “You’re being so quiet” you mumble and follow me out the car.

I lead you through a small dark path through the woods next to my car. I could tell you were terrified, grabbing onto my arm and cowering behind me as we walked through the almost pitch-black forest.

“Are you going to murder me” you laughed nervously “Is that why you wore red?” I ignored your question and put my red jacket over your shivering form.

“There” I pointed, walking faster towards an opening in the forest. We towards the moonlit opening that lead to a grassy clearing with a bench facing a cliff side. You let out an audible gasp and ran over to the bench, immediately jumping on top of it to get a better view of the lit-up town from below us.

“This is…. beautiful” you whispered quietly, stepping a little too far on the edge of bench and holding onto my shoulder in front of you for support. “How did you find this place”

“I’ve been looking for places to draw” I am thankful for the night for shading the blush across my cheeks. You hug my coat closer to your form and jump down on the bench to sit, pulling me down to do the same.

“Thanks for taking me here” you giggle, nudging me with your shoulder “You should take your future significant other here”

“I’ll try” I laugh nervously “About that-“

“You could even confess to them here!” you continue to giggle teasingly “It would be so cheesy, but so cute”

“Yeah I actually was going to try to confess here to someone….” You give me a fierce suspicious gaze which catches me off guard

“Kook do you like someone?” you ask curiously “I bet it’s Jisoo” you tease, clearly not over the time Jisoo baked me bunny cookies for me.

“I do like someone actually, maybe even more than like them” I say the last bit shyly

“I can tell I’m making you uncomfortably” you say and I almost sense irritation and disappointment in your tone “I won’t ask you about it anymore”

I sigh out, unsure if you felt the same “I have a question for you” you look up at me, the disappointment in your eyes replaced by curiosity “Is it worth ruining a friendship to confess to someone?”

You bite your bottom lip and look down from me, your expression something I can’t read “I don’t think I can answer that question.”

“Why not?”

You look away from me, inching your hand further away “I want to be selfish and say no, don’t confess to anyone, but I also should be logical and tell you that a good friendship won’t be ruined by a confession.”

My heart breaks slightly hearing that you don’t want me to confess. But why? Was it because you thought I was going to confess to anyone else or was it because you thought I was going to confess to you? The answer to that was something I didn’t want to risk finding out.

“I won’t confess” I sigh out which makes you panic and start encouraging me to confess and be happy.

“I just didn’t want anyone to take my best friend away from me” you giggle shyly “I want you to be happy though”

The more you grab onto me trying to make me feel better, the more I can’t help but feel the butterflies in my stomach building up. There’s an awkward silence when you stop pushing at my arm. I try to fill the silence with some humming.

“Your singing is so beautiful” you smile and lean your head on my shoulder while I sing to myself quietly “If I can’t be a research engineer and you can’t be a game character designer, I’m going to force you into the music industry and be your manager”

I smile down at your cute form “What your manager name be?”

“Hmmm, I’m thinking Bang PD”

(Plot twist, this is a JKxBang PD fanfic)

(just kidding!!!!!!!!!)

“Hmmmm, I would probably just keep my real name” You stand up, taking my hand in yours “Dance with me, and keep singing”

I hum along and take hold of your waist as you put your hands on my shoulder. You snuck my chilly hands onto the skin of your waist to keep them warm while you tried to gain warmth from my bare neck. You hum along with me while leaning your head against my shoulder, allowing full access for me to smell your fruity shampoo. I closed my eyes and smiled. One thought rang in my head while I leaned into your smaller form, _I love you_


	21. Waste it on me

You kicked a few pairs of shoes out of your way as you enter Jimin and Yoongi’s apartment. It wasn’t often that you visited them since Yoongi was always napping or Jimin was never home. It hadn’t changed much since the last time you were here 3 months ago. The all black furniture and black cabinets were a nice contrast to the light grayish blue walls and linoleum tiled flooring. It was less cozy than your apartment, but much cleaner and less cluttered since neither Jimin nor Yoongi had a lot of things.

“Cutie!” Jimin run over to you and gives you a quick hug while Yoongi yawns his way out of his room.

“I see you both are friends again” he gives you a genuine gummy smile and retreats to his place on the couch corner.

“Why did you guys invite me over” you ask nervously, taking a cautious step towards their spotless living room. Jimin grabs your wrist and pushes you down on the couch next to him.

“We’re here for operation Cutie and Kookie!” A new bright voice pops up behind you and jumps over the couch to wiggle himself between you and Jimin. You cross your arms stubbornly, they were starting to get way too involved with your love life.

“Yah, we’re just involved because you got us involved” Yoongi practically reads your mind and throws a pillow at you. “Don’t be so melodramatic”

“Look who’s talking!” Hoseok holds your form back from practically tackling Yoongi.

“Children, please!” He lets out a loud laugh and continues telling everyone about his plan “So, we are going to have a party! We’ll get you and Kookie drunk-“

“No” you interrupt “That’s how we got in this mess in the first place”

“Okay fine, we’ll find a way to get him to talk to you alone-“

“Good luck, he hasn’t spoken to me in a week-“ Hoseok smacks the back of your head and you pout rubbing the sore growing bump “Ow!”

“Stop interrupting me! Just leave it to me! I will find a way to get him to talk to you!” The three of you give Hoseok a skeptical look, he was a terrible liar. “That’s why Yoongi will figure out a way to get you to talk to him!” Jimin and you cross your arms over your chest, clearly not impressed with the plan. Yoongi wouldn’t bother scheming anything, he would just yell and lecture which would only make the both of you too irritated to speak to each other.

“I have a better idea!” Jimin chimes in. You raise your eyebrows over to Jimin, the soft little puppy who was too gullible to bypass Jungkook’s evasions and charms. “Not me! Jin”

You look to Yoongi who is nodding and Hoseok who shrugs, maybe Jin was your best chance at reaching Jungkook. “I really don’t want to get more people involved-“

“Jin would be happy to help you two, Jungkook’s probably been moping and getting on Jin’s nerves” Jimin chimes in. “And we all know how Jin is with romance, he gets more girls and guys than anyone else in our friend group! If we all didn’t know about how much of a dork he is, I’m sure we’d all be trying to tap that ass.”

You slump against the couch and ponder the idea. Jin knew Jungkook’s schedule the best since they lived together. Jin was the master at coercing Jungkook into a long-winded conversation. Besides you, Jin knew Jungkook the best, which meant he was your only option. “Okay why not, let’s call Jin”

……..

“Woah I’ve never been here before, yah invite me over more! Did you order meat for me?” He gives the four of you a pat on the back and makes himself comfortable on an armchair. You all stare at him dumbfounded that he actually came, “Yah, why are you all looking at me like that” he laughs nervously.

“Well you s-see….” You stutter with your words, but Yoongi’s bluntness cuts you off “We need help getting Jungkook alone to talk to” he points with thumb towards you who nods eagerly.

“I’m too scared to talk to him!”

“Yah, solve you and Jungkook need to solve your own problems” he waves you off

You crawl down on your knees towards Jin “Please, Mr. most handsome man in the world, some would even call you worldwide handsome, help me!”

He blushes furiously and trying to shoo you away from crawling towards him “fine! Now get away from me, you look like scary” you jump up and hug him tightly while his ears turn red and he shakes you off of him.

“Thank you!” you run back to your place next to Hoseok “Now what’s the plan”

“You expect me to think of a plan too? Wow kids theses days, tsk tsk what am I doing to do with you” You and Hoseok give him a hopeful smile while Yoongi looks like he’s about to fall asleep. “Alright alright, here’s the plan”

………….

“Did we have to get walkie talkies?” You chime into the device from your station in a nearby bush.

“You forgot to say over, over” Jin pipes in his walkie talkie “And yes” you hear muffling but crouch down further behind your bush. “Princess in the nest, over.”

“We have phones Jin” you sigh “Over.”

“You’re supposed to say where you are! Over.”

“Cutie in the trees, over.” You looked up at the tree Jin was expecting you to climb, which was a 50-foot-tall pine. You shake your hide and rustle the bushes you were behind.

**Hobi**

Bunny leaving the rabbit hole (gym)!

Over

**Princess Jinnie **

Yah! What happened to your walkie talkie!

Over

**Hobi**

Namjoon broke it when we were playing soccer 🥺

Over

**Princess Jinnie**

Whatever, the window is unlocked so you can climb in now, I’ll distract the bunny to give you time to hide in the closet.

Over

**You**

Are you sure this is a good idea?

Over

**Princess Jinnie**

Of course! Scaring the bunny is the way to go. Over.

You can hear Jungkook rustling with his keys outside the apartment while you quietly make your way around the back of the building and find his window. The window is open with a short rope hanging for ease of climbing. You quickly jump into the bedroom and carefully shut the window. You can hear Jungkook talking to Jin, well more like Jin talking at Jungkook while he is clearly trying to get away. You jump into his closet and close the door.

You peer through the slits of his closet to see him walking into the room and throwing backpack to the corner. He sighs and drops himself roughly on the bed.

_I can’t do this! _Panic starts to set in seeing how tired he actually looked; dark bags under his eyes, shoulders slumped unnaturally, face seeming to have lost some of his color. _This is so creepy!_ _How am I going to pop out of his closet! _

You have no time to panic when a sharp and loud ringing starts on your phone. You quickly try to shut it off, noticing the caller ID to be Yoongi, but it is too late. Jungkook bursts the closet door open and aggressively pulls your wrist so you are standing in front of him.

“Care to tell me why you’re in my closet” his voice lacks the power and passion you were expecting, almost like he was exhausted.

“A-are you feeling alright?” You take a step closer to him and put your hand on his forehead, but he grabs your wrist and gently drops it to your side.

“Why are you here” he turns his back away from you and sits down on his bed and drops his head into his hands. “I tried to stay away from you, why can’t you leave me alone? It hurts more to see you…”

You swallow and keep your distance from him, awkwardly fiddling with the skin on your hand. “Y-you’re ignoring me?” your bite your lip to keep from your voice from quivering.

You walk over to him slowly and lift his chin from his hands “Jungkook. I know I’m nothing more than a waste of your time, but will you waste it on me?”


	22. You seem happier

He pushes your hands away and looks away from your shaking form. “I-I can’t”

You step back slowly, quickly tripping over one of his shoes onto your butt “W-why? I’m not leaving till I get a reason”

He stifles a laugh when you try to pick yourself up only to fall again. “We’re not good for each other, look how unhappy we are together. Its just been, exhausting, for me, for you…”

You shake your head and walk over to him anyway, a sudden surge of confidence taking over you “Let me prove it to you”

“And how are you going to do that?”

“Let’s make it a competition” a smirk forms on your lips, if there was anything Jungkook couldn’t resist, it was a competition. He waits for you to continue “Let me take you out on one date. If you hate it and you’re right we suck together, I’ll buy you a lifetime supply of ramen.” His eyes widen at the mention of his favorite food.

“And if you win?” he looks up to and you could swear you saw a small smile on his lips

“If I win and you agree that we’re an awesome couple, we stay together and you let me see your entire sketch book” you walk over to him, a competitive glint in your eye and reach your hand out. He takes hold of it and shakes it firmly “You’re on, you have one date”

…….

You walk out of Jungkook’s room with a bounce in your step and give Jin two huge thumbs up. He pulls you into his room quickly which startles you, Jin was never this aggressive. He shuts the door quickly and your eyes wander around his room; it’s a pale pink with stuffed animals everywhere.

“Tell me everything” he pats the space next to him on his bed.

“Everything you said worked, I made it a competition and he agreed to one date!” you shake your fists in the air excitedly.

“You got the call from Yoongi?” he asks with his eyebrows raised.

You smack his arm “Yah, that was so mean! And why did you tell me to wear this yellow tank top? It’s freezing!”

“Jungkook’s favorite color is yellow” he shrugs which gives you a surprised look. “You didn’t know? He likes it because you wear it so much. And the tank top was to, ya know, seduce-” You smack his arm again making him laugh loudly. You cover your cheeks with your hands, feeling the blush forming on your face.

“Well now we have to plan the date” He drops a notebook on your lap. You open the leather binding carefully, your eyes widening seeing its contents. The book was filled everything about Jungkook, from his birth chart to his favorite white T-shirt (number 5 if you were wondering). “How-“ you stop yourself, feeling embarrassed for not knowing Jungkook as well as Jin. He pats you on the back and gives you his iconic windshield wiper laugh “We’ve been roommates for years, he’s like a brother to me! Also I stole some of these facts from his diary-“ You smack his head with the book, clearly not impressed that Jin was gladly invading Jungkook’s privacy. “Now let’s plan that date”

…………………….

Jungkook’s point of view

…………………………

A date.

It was just a date.

Why was I so nervous then?

Maybe it was because I had no clue when this date was going to be…

The week went by with no texts, no calls, not even any of our friends talking about you. You promised a date, so where was it?

I walk out of my last class for the week, should I even plan anything for my weekend? I sit down on the secluded bench outside the art building, mind completely dazed by the thoughts of a potential date.

“Hey JK” Hoseok and Yoongi come striding over to sit next to me. It was normal for Yoongi to be here, but Hoseok? What business did he have near the art building? “Enjoying the view?” I looked over to where Hoseok was pointing, which was the brick wall of another building.

“Um, excuse me?” Something was off about the interaction, why was Hoseok sweating so much.

“Ah just grab him already” Yoongi whines. The saying sinks into me quickly, but not quick enough “Wait what-“ Yoongi grabs one arm while Hoseok grabs the other. “You’re coming with us.”

“What are you both doing?” The aggressive nature of both makes me laugh, I try to shake their weaker forms off of me, but suddenly I felt a light body jump on my back “What is going on?”

“Got you!” Jimin’s voice rings in my ears as a piece of cloth covers my eyes. The action stuns me, leaving me shocked enough for the weaker boys to pin my hands behind my back, wrapping them in duct tape. “What are you guys doing!” I scream and try to bite the closest friend to me, only to have my mouth duct taped shut as well.

And that was how I got kidnapped; thrown into the backseat of what felt like Jin’s truck.

“Did they have to kidnap you?” Your gentle voice seems concerned as you slowly tear the tape off my lips. Was this your idea of an ideal date? I couldn’t help but laugh at the absurdity that was going on around me.

“I can tell you’re driving because of all the sharp turns” I tease, chuckling lightly, carefully shifting myself to a more comfortable position. “Jin’s idea?”

“Hey! Don’t make fun of my driving! I was going to untie you, but I guess not anymore” If I could see you, you would probably be giving me a very smug look “And yes this was Jin’s idea, he has your diary by the way”

“What!” I gulp “Y-you didn’t see it did you?”

You laugh wholeheartedly which I can’t help but smile hearing, it’s been too long since I heard that wonderful sound. “I saw a little bit Mr. Pisces rising”

“Where are you taking me? Can I get this blindfold off? Or maybe this duct tape off my hands”

I could feel the car start to come to slow stop. “Nope, this is going to be a date you won’t forget”

The door opens and you carefully undo the tape on my hands “Keep the blindfold on” you take hold of both my hands, leading me slowly out of the car and onto what feels like a soft patch of grass.

I can feel your body coming closer and closer to mine, your sweet perfume suffocating my rational thinking. My lips pucker slightly when I feel the warmth inching towards my face, resting my hands against your elbows.

I blink a few times realizing you removed the blindfold. I look down at your form and the air escapes me immediately. Your usually messy hair is styled accentuate your natural waves, your naturally bare face is sprinkled with light makeup that highlights the brightness of your eyes and plumpness of your lips, and rather than wearing your usual sweater and jeans combo, you’re wearing tight black pants, black boots that made you a few inches taller, a white v-neck T-shirt, and a long pink cardigan that I swear I’ve seen on Jin before. I couldn’t help myself from you, my lips had a mind of their own, slowly moving down towards you, inch by inch.

You quickly turned your head, giving me a sly smile “I don’t kiss on the first date” you wink and take hold of my hands, leading me through a narrow path in the woods. I can smell the faint scent of the sea salt “We’re near the ocean?” you nod, the trail opening to a rocky ocean shore. “This way” you say quietly, still holding my hand while jumping from rock to rock. What I thought was random hops across rocks turned into an intentional route to a hidden cave. “Where did you find this place?”

You blush and rub the back of your neck “This all may have been Jin’s suggestions” you tap your fingers to my lips before I can tease “But it’s a date and time with me, not him.”

“Are you sure?” I joke, looking your outfit up and down. You crinkle your nose offendedly which makes me giggle “You look beautiful, no matter if you’re wearing Jin’s clothes. I prefer you don’t wear anything though” I whisper the last part in your ear, making you turn a bright shade of pink. You ignore my comment and take me into the cave, revealing a simple picnic set up, clad with blankets, a basket of food, my sketchbook, and a small lantern. The sight makes me smile, slowly picking up my sketchbook. “Did you peek at this? You haven’t won the competition… yet” I smirk and you walk behind me, wrapping your arms around my waist from behind. “No, I stick to my word”

I take a seat on the blanket, pulling you down with me and into my arms “Thank you for taking me here”

You smile up at me and lean more into my body “You haven’t even seen the best part yet!” You jump over to the basket and pull out a thermos with a few bowls “I brought ramen!”

“You’re trying to temp me away from ramen by giving me more ramen?” I tease, taking the bowl and chopsticks from you.

“I’m trying to show you that I can be your ramen hoe, even if we’re together” you pour the boiling broth and noodles into my bowl, doing the same to your own “I’ll be an even better ramen hoe because the ramen will be warm”

I looked over to your form while you were carefully trying to eat your burning ramen. I could tell there was a difference in your stature, like your previously dull aura was now slightly brighter. “You seem happier”


	23. With them now (last chapter

“I have a new appreciation for life” you say quietly, looking away from his kind eyes. He slowly takes ahold of your hand, rubbing small circles with his thumb. You look up to him to see a sweet bunny smile, making you want to trust him completely.

“Can I ask you something?” he tilts his head while you nod “What made you suddenly want to be in a relationship with me?”

You bite your lip, pondering the question yourself “I’ve always wanted to be in a relationship with you, maybe even before that one ‘heart to heart’ night. I was just too scared…. Scared of losing my friendships with Jimin and Tae… scared of losing my friendship with you….” He waits silently and your awkward self attempts to fill the void “I guess something clicked in me when I almost did something bad…” his eyes widen but you try to avoid the subject quickly “I realized that I wanted you in my life and I would be stupid not to try this out. It just took me a while because I wanted to be absolutely sure I was ready to give you my whole heart” 

He looks away from you, biting his lip nervously “I want to be with you, but I don’t know if I can unless you’re honest with me, does this bad thing have to do with Yoongi?” You nod cautiously while he mimics your action “D-did you sleep with Yoongi? I mean it’s okay if you have- we weren’t together- Yoongi is pretty cool- you don’t have to be ashamed- not that you would be ashamed of Yoong-“ you burst out laughing, catching him off guard.

“Yoongi?” you wipe a tear from your eye “You think I was sleeping with Yoongi? That’s hilarious”

“Well then what is this big secret?! I’m so curious!” he sends you pleading eyes while you’re trying desperately to stop laughing

“Oh he just stopped me from killing myself” you say casually, too caught up in the thought of you and Yoongi hooking up to realize what you just said.

“What?!” he jumps next to you, cradling your small form “Baby no, tell me everything that happened?”

“Baby? Well I guess it’s better than cutie” you shrug, nervously trying to inch yourself away from him, but without prevail. “I guess I should, you’re my best friend so you should know…. Alright I had a bit of a panic attack while I was talking to Yoongi in the woods and may have…..um… runawaygotlostandtriedtofreezemyselftodeathinsteadofgoinghome” 

He stares at you, slowly processing your rapid words “H-how did you get out alive?” you can hear the shaking of his voice

“Well you know Yoongi” you chuckle nervously “He knows everything. I don’t know how he knew, but he sent Hoseok to come find me. I was asleep for a few hours and when I woke up I thought I was already dead since I couldn’t feel anything, I even thought Hoseok was some kind of angel. He had to-uh- carry me back to his car and he let me stay at his place for the night.”

“Those two really are the best, I feel bad for being so jealous of them” he hugs you tighter, clearly not letting go anytime soon “And the week off?”

“Well I got sick from being outside in the cold, and honestly I just needed time away from everything. This was right after the pictures were sent and I wasn’t ready to face you, face my friends, even face myself.”

“How do you feel now? Are you still… um.. thinking bad thoughts?” 

“Well, it doesn’t go away like a switch. Depression is like a deep scratch on a table you can’t seem to sand down. It doesn’t really bother you till you notice it and then you can’t stop noticing it.” You shake your head, trying to get the thoughts away 

“If you ever think badly about yourself, let me know, I’ll come running” he tries to hug you but you push his large clingy body away

“That’s the thing, I don’t want to depend on you to help me when I’m depressed.” You lean your head against his shoulder when he gives you a pout from not letting him hug you “I want to depend on me to help myself. That’s why I didn’t tell you, I knew you would be trying to fix me, but that was my job, not yours” he nods, listening carefully to your words “There will be days where I won’t feel like myself or days where I don’t know if I can give you the love you deserve-“

He stops you quickly “Any form of you is a you I want to be with, so don’t hold back because of me” he kisses the top of your head gently “I’ve been your friend for years, I’m madder at myself for not seeing the signs…”

Now it’s your turn to stop him “Never blame yourself when I do stupid things” you give him a bite of your ramen, which he takes gladly. 

You spend the rest of the day talking, joking, and eating all the snacks you brought, quickly as comfortable with each other as you were before. The sky goes from a light blue to a dark black quickly, leaving only the sound of waves to be heard. You flick the lantern on, the dim light illuminating all Jungkook’s best features. “So um, what do you think? Did I win the competition?” you ask nervously twiddling your thumbs.

“Hmm, I don’t know…” you give him a sad look but he ruffles your hair “Of course you won! But you do realize that now I expect all our dates to be like this”

You smile widely and jump into his lap, giving him cute little kisses on the cheeks “Let me see your notebook!”

“Well, you did win fair and square, even if it was just because you’ll give me hot ramen” he teased, handing you his most prized possession.

You position yourself next to the lantern, carefully opening the book. What you see amazes you. Dozens of beautiful detailed sketches, some of simple things like the coffees he used to order and some intricate and deep, making your eyes tear up from the emotions displayed on the page. You point to one in particular; a dark figure walking towards an open door “What’s this one?”

He squints and leans closer to the page, trying to get more light into his vision “Oh that one was one of my projects, its supposed to represent hope.” You trace your hands lightly over the picture, drawn to the darkness it embodies. “Have you ever drawn me?” you whisper to yourself, but Jungkook hears you anyway. He turns a few pages and reveals a detailed portrait of you. In the picture you have a huge smile, eyes wrinkling at the edges, nose crinkling slightly. You glide your finger first over the light freckles he depicted perfectly to the messy strands of hair that seem to move even though it’s just a sketch. He made you look beautiful, eyes deeply set and lips full. “I-I didn’t know I looked like this”

“You look better than my drawing” he rubs small circles against your back while you look at the picture more. “I drew this when I first realized I had a crush on you”

You shift shyly, trying to hide the blush on your cheeks “And when was that?” you notice that your hair is much shorter in the picture. He doesn’t answer your question, rather hands you a freshly sharpened pencil from his pocket.

“Do you want to draw in it?” You nod immediately, snatching the pencil from his hand and opening to a fresh page. You start attempting to draw a portrait of him. Unluckily for you, art was not your forte. After 10 concentrated minutes, he tries to peek over your shoulder, but you shoo him away. Eventually, your master piece is as good as it’s going to get. You turn it over quickly “Ta da!”

He starts laughing immediately and you hit him with the book teasingly. “That looks more like Hoseok than me”

“Well maybe I wanted to draw Hobi” you argue, trying to accentuate his longer nose more. He takes the book from you, smiling fondly at the picture.

“Don’t change it, I love it” he pulls you into a back hug and kisses your cheek “Can our first date be over yet so I can have a kiss?”

You roll your eyes and peck him quickly on the lips, retreating before your temptations get the best of you.

The night ends with him taking over driving Jin’s car and dropping you off at your apartment. He walks you to the door and gives you a quick kiss goodnight before retreating to his own home. It feels like you’re in a sweet romantic movie; the guy takes you on a nice date, kisses you goodnight, then you call your best friend to tell them how cute he was. You crash your body onto your body, smiling to yourself when thinking about the night. “This is how we should have gotten together” you sigh happily “But I’m with him now”

……………  
Jungkook’s point of view  
……………..

“Ah JK, I worked so hard on that date, did you like it?” Jin pats the couch for me to sit down when I first walk into the apartment. Jin’s obscure personality can’t annoy me today; my smile is huge as a plop down next to Jin. 

“How do you have my journal?” I laugh “I want that back and I’m finding a new hiding spot”

“Oh, your diary” he teases “Yah hide it in between your mattress again”

I roll my eyes, retreating back to my room, plopping myself down on my bed, a huge smile forming on my face “I’m with them now”


End file.
